Goodbye Facebook

UPDATE: I have been advised to NOT leave Facebook until I manage an alternative structure taht provides social connections. With some reservations, I've decided to cancel, or delay, my departure from here until further notice. Sorry if it seems like I was yanking your chain - I really was going to delete this profile Tuesday. - R

There are good reasons for leaving. For me, it has become a substitute for genuine friendship and social interaction. And it’s not good for me to use it as both livejournal and Truman Show. Life is much more than that, and my life needs to be more than that right now. I am deleting this profile (and the other vestigal one) in seven days.



Some might wonder why I don’t simply reduce my use. Partly I’m not confident in my present ability to self-regulate my time here. But mostly, it’s an acknowledgement that I can’t really contribute to, or receive the benefits of, friendship with a number of people roughly equal to the voting membership of Congress. I’ve shared too much with virtual strangers, and in so doing, shared not enough with the people that best understand are best positioned to help me move on with the business of living. And I don’t have time – I am fighting a four-front war, and need to concentrate my resources.

I’ve benefited from Facebook a lot. I’ve met people in other countries. I’ve gotten support and encouragement. And I’ve reconnected with people from my past.

I’m going to miss out on updates about engagements, breakups, births, deaths, and academic milestones. I’ll likely lose touch with some wonderful East Coast and international acquaintances. I’m sorry. But I hope instead to be a more committed, more present person for those twenty people. Make page 8 of the New York Times, the Economist, or my church newsletter, and I’ll know, and give you a heartfelt letter or phone call. If you can, please reach out to me when you record your Rach 3, or publish your first book, or when your heart gets broken. I’ll continue to update my blog, which remains the top search item for my name; please consider it an open invitation to reach me.

Until we meet again, I hope you are inspired with the courage to fight, forgive and love, and the judgment to know when which is most appropriate. I hope you have your existential why, and have the wisdom to know that if you lose it, you can find another. Finally, I hope you have the right people, and if you do not, that you discover within yourself the strength to find the right people. You owe it to yourself, and to your future family.

This feels bittersweet, but right. So goodbye, and good luck.