I'm working with a couple students on SAT Critical Reading. Some are native English speakers. Some aren't. They all generally do better in science and math, though some are quite accomplished in the humanities.
But all of them -- all of them -- struggle with critical reading passages from the 19th century.
It's not just the diction -- though that, I'm sure contributes. The meanings of certain words have evolved a bit, and at least, have taken on different primary meanings in conversational English. And yet, it's a minor reason -- the SAT, by its nature, includes words that students may or may not know, and an entire class of reading passages questions requires students to determine the meaning of a phrase or word in context.
It's not just subject matter. Yes the passages are narrative and often divorced from the social, cultural, and racial reality of my students. But so are, say, the philosophical passages, or passages focused on a particular minority group. Some of the students struggle on these as well, though to a lesser extent.
I've decided that the primary challenge is due to the fact that these passages are heavy on dialogue.
I've reviwed nearly a score of official SAT tests of the current variety. And it appears that more modern narrative reading passages are characterized by omniscient narrators, detailed prose descriptions, and a boatload of adjectives.
The older passages, on the other hand, consist almost entirely of dialogue.
That got me thinking: why should that make it harder for students? Isn't this generation infamous for communicating via text messages? And although behavioral psychology suggests this leads to a loss of over 90% of the information provided by nonverbal (or at least non-linguistic) cues from direct, personal communication, haven't they adapted by becoming closer readers of dialogue?
But it's not an issue specific to millennials. I have trouble with these passages. Older SAT tutors I know -- people who don't text at all -- have similar issues.
Maybe then it has to do with a phenomenon that spans a couple generations.
Round up the usual suspects!
1. Television
Television is a favorite whipping boy. But it might be at least slightly responsible. Why? Well, it provides the viewer with abundant visual cues, which a block of text doesn't supply. So although a screenplay may need explicit directions for the actor, the gap between the naked dialogue and the viewer's brain is filled with a raft of nonverbal cues supplied by the directed actor.
We don't read dialogue. We watch it.
2. The decline of plays in classroom instruction
I read a lot of Shakespeare in the classroom. Although one of my more perceptive English teachers told us (correctly) that Shakespeare wasn't meant to be read silently, we often did. And yes, the dialogue was often witty, and monologues and chorus provide at least some narration and background. But it's hard, unless one already knows the general plot, to understand what a given piece of dialogue means.
In order to interpret the dialogue, you need to understand the plot. But in order to understand the plot, you have to know how to interpret the dialogue. It can be done, in an iterative process. But who has time for multiple re-readings, especially on a standardized test?
3. The decline of poetry.
We don't read poetry. There are lots of reasons. I loved poetry, but realized it was making me overly pretentious. Some hate its indirectness and subtlety (the very things that others, including myself, love it for).
But what it does do -- at least when done well -- is force us to appreciate the subtleties of language. It demands, upfront, vocabulary, and historical sensitivity to connotation. Narrative prose does this too, though the lower restrictions on structure often lead even great authors to be a bit lazy and less economical with words. Clarity, not brevity, is often the emphasis, which lowers the barriers to comprehension.
In other words, the very inaccessibility of poetry makes it better training for tests that seek to differentiate students based on reading comprehension ability.
I don't know if any of these are true. It's possible that culutral context matters way more -- I find it boring to read about the upper-middle class Victorian lives of Jane Austen's characters. But it's something that I'm mulling over, especially as it is currently a roadblock for some of my students -- a block I have to figure out how to move quickly.
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Comedy Review: Sunset Room, Oct 22, 2013
It was Ladies' Night: four female comics were booked to perform. It was supposed to start at 10pm, but ended up starting at around 10:30, possibly due to trouble tracking down a DJ. 10pm is already pretty late for a Monday, and the delay pretty much guaranteed that people would leave during the performances.
Whether people left for that reason, or their indifference toward the comedy on display, is uncertain. What is clearer is that the opening and closing of the door rattled some of the comedians. I don't know their history, or how long they've been doing it. And it's tough to shut out at a small venue (there were only about 20-25 people total).
I'm not a comedian, and I'm not a professional critic. I'm just a guy that likes stand up comedy. Even that is limited to a handful of visits to comedy clubs and Youtube browsing. I have a tremendous respect for people who go up in front of a crowd and try to make them laugh. It takes tremendous courage. I think it's also unfair to compare them with the leading comics of our time: Louis CK, Chris Rock, etc. However, there do seem to be certain laws of comedy that are common to effective routines at all levels, and it is fair to see whether or not their comedy works according to these distilled principles.
Here are some principles I think were broken (or in Bernal's case, followed):
Be prepared.
Standup comedy is not improv. Good standup can take advantage of things in the room, and improvise off that. (Things in the room can be funny because they are shared experiences, which reduces the chance of a joke not being understood.) But at some level there still need to be jokes. It can't all be personality, or completely dependent on things happening during the routine.
If a comic is prepared, she can resist the temptation to go off script if jokes fall flat.
If a comic issuper, duper prepared, she can calibrate delivery or material as needed.
If a comic is unprepared, he or she makes a comment like "Let's see... what else do I want to talk about?" At least two comics did this.
Another comic had decent energy and promise, but her routine went a bit off once she started actively using her note sheet.
If you have a note sheet, it indicates a lack of preparation. Worse, if I know you have stuff written in front of you, my expectations for your delivery and material skyrocket, perhaps to impossible standards.
Consider how the material works with the rest of the perforrmance
From what little I know, many comics have a set routine. It's unclear then that adjusting that routine is at all feasible, or makes sense. But I think it does pay to know your audience, and figure out whether a gig is right for you.
There was also a guest male comic, who, based on the intro, has acheived some note at the Laugh Factory. Unfortunately for him, his routine seemed even more misogynistic than it would ordinarily at a Ladies' Night. Some of his jokes were designed more for shock than humor in any case. But they seemed especially mean given the context.
Maybe I'm not a fan of his type of humor. But I think I would've enjoyed it more if it weren't delivered at a Ladies' Night. Some parts were just a bit too jarring given the context.
Things that happen in the room can be funny - but don't use them as a crutch.
The male comic made fun of a guy by calling him "Charlie Brown", playing off a drunken heckle and the fact that his shirt had a horizontal zigzag pattern. It was pretty good. But a couple of the comics came back to the "Charlie Brown" thing when their routines were flagging. For whatever reason, it seemed like they were using it as a life preserver, and it showed.
I know that comedians generally find someone (or a couple someones) they can pick on in a crowd, especially if the person is pretty good natured. ("Charlie Brown" was a good sport.) But there has to be more than pointing to "Charlie Brown!" It gets tired if the person has no connection with the jokes.
Stay with the energy of your bit.
One of the things that I think distinguishes a good comic is that he or she stays in the energy of a bit. They don't break character. They don't (necessarily) depend upon the energy of the room. They bring their own energy. Conversely, weaker or more inexperienced comics do respond, and even take personally, the apathy or non-responsiveness of a crowd.
As the routines went on, many of the comics seemed a bit unnerved at the lack of response. Their tone It's entirely understandable. But it's the kiss of death.
Bernal did this the best of the comics performing tonight. She was greeted with the same sort of apathy that the other comics experienced -- perhaps even more, given the general fatigue everyone was feeling by the last act. But she brought an energy to the stage and maintained it throughout her routine. She didn't depend upon great responses -- though it always helps. She stayed with her high-energy, larger-than-life personality, and it worked. It won us over, such that when she did tell a stinker, we were willing to forgive it as an aberration.
Of note: she faced a drunk female heckler who said, among other things, "You're not latina" and "You're not funny". Bernal seemed pretty unfazed; she initially engaged, and when that didn't work, continued with her routine without skipping a beat.
Performers have to "stay in the bit". This applies to classroom teaching, too. If you let your energy slip, the kids pick up on it, and the lesson suffers.
Try not to insult the entire audience for no good reason.
It's clear that some of the comics were struggling, and got a combination of nervous, pissed off, and frustrated. One in particular got a bit petulant and sarcastic, and basically insulted the crowd at the end of her routine by sarcastically praising us for being a great crowd.
Whether people left for that reason, or their indifference toward the comedy on display, is uncertain. What is clearer is that the opening and closing of the door rattled some of the comedians. I don't know their history, or how long they've been doing it. And it's tough to shut out at a small venue (there were only about 20-25 people total).
I'm not a comedian, and I'm not a professional critic. I'm just a guy that likes stand up comedy. Even that is limited to a handful of visits to comedy clubs and Youtube browsing. I have a tremendous respect for people who go up in front of a crowd and try to make them laugh. It takes tremendous courage. I think it's also unfair to compare them with the leading comics of our time: Louis CK, Chris Rock, etc. However, there do seem to be certain laws of comedy that are common to effective routines at all levels, and it is fair to see whether or not their comedy works according to these distilled principles.
Here are some principles I think were broken (or in Bernal's case, followed):
Be prepared.
Standup comedy is not improv. Good standup can take advantage of things in the room, and improvise off that. (Things in the room can be funny because they are shared experiences, which reduces the chance of a joke not being understood.) But at some level there still need to be jokes. It can't all be personality, or completely dependent on things happening during the routine.
If a comic is prepared, she can resist the temptation to go off script if jokes fall flat.
If a comic issuper, duper prepared, she can calibrate delivery or material as needed.
If a comic is unprepared, he or she makes a comment like "Let's see... what else do I want to talk about?" At least two comics did this.
Another comic had decent energy and promise, but her routine went a bit off once she started actively using her note sheet.
If you have a note sheet, it indicates a lack of preparation. Worse, if I know you have stuff written in front of you, my expectations for your delivery and material skyrocket, perhaps to impossible standards.
Consider how the material works with the rest of the perforrmance
From what little I know, many comics have a set routine. It's unclear then that adjusting that routine is at all feasible, or makes sense. But I think it does pay to know your audience, and figure out whether a gig is right for you.
There was also a guest male comic, who, based on the intro, has acheived some note at the Laugh Factory. Unfortunately for him, his routine seemed even more misogynistic than it would ordinarily at a Ladies' Night. Some of his jokes were designed more for shock than humor in any case. But they seemed especially mean given the context.
Maybe I'm not a fan of his type of humor. But I think I would've enjoyed it more if it weren't delivered at a Ladies' Night. Some parts were just a bit too jarring given the context.
Things that happen in the room can be funny - but don't use them as a crutch.
The male comic made fun of a guy by calling him "Charlie Brown", playing off a drunken heckle and the fact that his shirt had a horizontal zigzag pattern. It was pretty good. But a couple of the comics came back to the "Charlie Brown" thing when their routines were flagging. For whatever reason, it seemed like they were using it as a life preserver, and it showed.
I know that comedians generally find someone (or a couple someones) they can pick on in a crowd, especially if the person is pretty good natured. ("Charlie Brown" was a good sport.) But there has to be more than pointing to "Charlie Brown!" It gets tired if the person has no connection with the jokes.
Stay with the energy of your bit.
One of the things that I think distinguishes a good comic is that he or she stays in the energy of a bit. They don't break character. They don't (necessarily) depend upon the energy of the room. They bring their own energy. Conversely, weaker or more inexperienced comics do respond, and even take personally, the apathy or non-responsiveness of a crowd.
As the routines went on, many of the comics seemed a bit unnerved at the lack of response. Their tone It's entirely understandable. But it's the kiss of death.
Bernal did this the best of the comics performing tonight. She was greeted with the same sort of apathy that the other comics experienced -- perhaps even more, given the general fatigue everyone was feeling by the last act. But she brought an energy to the stage and maintained it throughout her routine. She didn't depend upon great responses -- though it always helps. She stayed with her high-energy, larger-than-life personality, and it worked. It won us over, such that when she did tell a stinker, we were willing to forgive it as an aberration.
Of note: she faced a drunk female heckler who said, among other things, "You're not latina" and "You're not funny". Bernal seemed pretty unfazed; she initially engaged, and when that didn't work, continued with her routine without skipping a beat.
Performers have to "stay in the bit". This applies to classroom teaching, too. If you let your energy slip, the kids pick up on it, and the lesson suffers.
Try not to insult the entire audience for no good reason.
It's clear that some of the comics were struggling, and got a combination of nervous, pissed off, and frustrated. One in particular got a bit petulant and sarcastic, and basically insulted the crowd at the end of her routine by sarcastically praising us for being a great crowd.
Cleverness that extends for more than five seconds is a breath of fresh air.
Bernal has a great singing voice, and she used it to parody both "Part of Your World" (Little Mermaid) and "If I Only Had A Brain" (Wizard of Oz). They stood out in an environment of one-liners because they were clever all the way through. Instead of the chuckle-silence pattern of one-liners, she got us to laugh for a half-minute, and cheer afterwards.
***
I do think that each of the comics tonight has the potential to be better than some of the opening acts I've seen at The Ice House and Harrah's. (These may not represent the pinnacle of success, but it's a standard that I think means gainful, regular employment as a comic. And the Harrah's folks were godawful - nobody, especially a headliner, should comment during his routine that he can hear the ceiling fans.) I think Nicky Bernal could, with luck and a longer routine, go even farther.
But between here and there are a lot of small clubs with cold crowds.
Bernal has a great singing voice, and she used it to parody both "Part of Your World" (Little Mermaid) and "If I Only Had A Brain" (Wizard of Oz). They stood out in an environment of one-liners because they were clever all the way through. Instead of the chuckle-silence pattern of one-liners, she got us to laugh for a half-minute, and cheer afterwards.
***
I do think that each of the comics tonight has the potential to be better than some of the opening acts I've seen at The Ice House and Harrah's. (These may not represent the pinnacle of success, but it's a standard that I think means gainful, regular employment as a comic. And the Harrah's folks were godawful - nobody, especially a headliner, should comment during his routine that he can hear the ceiling fans.) I think Nicky Bernal could, with luck and a longer routine, go even farther.
But between here and there are a lot of small clubs with cold crowds.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
How to screw up a speech (CC#2: Organize Your Essay)
I screwed up today's speech. I still won the club award. But that was on my strength of speaking, and not on the quality of speech.
I've been working on a Theodore Roosevelt speech for about a month. I've gone through an estimated four drafts. And none of them sounded right. I ended up delivering a jumble of information today. It was well-received and praised.
My evaluator, a kindly retired lawyer, rightly took me to task on it. He thinks he was too harsh; he was actually just right, and I'm glad the club saw the critiques he made.
Could better preparation helped? Sure. I didn't effectively memorize the speech, or even talking points, because I was struggling until the last minute to get a draft.
But those are secondary issues.
The biggest reason it was a bad speech was because the topic was ill-suited to the format.
The Competent Communicator (CC) #2 speech is all about organization. There should be a clear intro, in which you enumerate your three main points. There should be three supporting points. And, finally, there should be a conclusion.
The problem is that I ended up delivering a narrative speech. There's just too much info in any biographical narrative (and most obviously so when discussing a crowded life like T.R.'s.)
A narrative is a terrible approach to a highly structured speech, especially given the time constraints.
The speech would have gone better if I had stuck with draft #2, which organized roughly along certain personality traits.
But it would have still foundered on the fundamental fact that historical narrative is a poor match for this speech.
Most of us are limited by topic. We have to speak about a certain thing in a professional setting. We have to talk about the bride and groom at a wedding. In the vast majority of cases, the topic is fixed. Sometimes even the format is fixed. But even in those cases, what flexibility exists comes from format, not from content.
These Toastmasters speeches are precisely the opposite. For many of these speeches (but not all: CC#1: The Icebreaker is a conspicuous exception), the speaker has freedom -- too much for comfort -- to choose any topic he or she wishes. It's the format, structure, or grading rubric that is fixed. The intent is clear: focus on a single technical aspect of the speech. It doesn't matter if it's about something no one cares about; at this level, the emphasis is on the mechanics.
It's important to double-check that you're doing precisely what you're supposed to be doing. And sometimes, in order to do what you're supposed to do, you have to ditch your preferred topic and go with another one.
This lesson applies to writing as well. Even if you have freedom to include whatever examples or content you wish, your format will often suggest more natural topics, and, contrariwise, will build in natural barriers if you insist on alternative topics.
This might not be helpful for those of you speaking in work settings. But for those of you with some flexibility in content, but not in form, it bears remembering. I'll keep that in mind while I prepare for CC#3: Get to The Point.
I've been working on a Theodore Roosevelt speech for about a month. I've gone through an estimated four drafts. And none of them sounded right. I ended up delivering a jumble of information today. It was well-received and praised.
My evaluator, a kindly retired lawyer, rightly took me to task on it. He thinks he was too harsh; he was actually just right, and I'm glad the club saw the critiques he made.
Could better preparation helped? Sure. I didn't effectively memorize the speech, or even talking points, because I was struggling until the last minute to get a draft.
Could I have worked on my physical presentation? Yes. I was in a suit. But I tended to pace. I have a way of scanning the room that's reminiscent of an oscillating sprinkler. It's eye contact, but it's not particularly effective (and for the vision impaired toastmaster, damn annoying -- the auditory input of someone pacing while speaking can actually induce nausea).
But those are secondary issues.
The biggest reason it was a bad speech was because the topic was ill-suited to the format.
The Competent Communicator (CC) #2 speech is all about organization. There should be a clear intro, in which you enumerate your three main points. There should be three supporting points. And, finally, there should be a conclusion.
The problem is that I ended up delivering a narrative speech. There's just too much info in any biographical narrative (and most obviously so when discussing a crowded life like T.R.'s.)
A narrative is a terrible approach to a highly structured speech, especially given the time constraints.
The speech would have gone better if I had stuck with draft #2, which organized roughly along certain personality traits.
But it would have still foundered on the fundamental fact that historical narrative is a poor match for this speech.
Most of us are limited by topic. We have to speak about a certain thing in a professional setting. We have to talk about the bride and groom at a wedding. In the vast majority of cases, the topic is fixed. Sometimes even the format is fixed. But even in those cases, what flexibility exists comes from format, not from content.
These Toastmasters speeches are precisely the opposite. For many of these speeches (but not all: CC#1: The Icebreaker is a conspicuous exception), the speaker has freedom -- too much for comfort -- to choose any topic he or she wishes. It's the format, structure, or grading rubric that is fixed. The intent is clear: focus on a single technical aspect of the speech. It doesn't matter if it's about something no one cares about; at this level, the emphasis is on the mechanics.
It's important to double-check that you're doing precisely what you're supposed to be doing. And sometimes, in order to do what you're supposed to do, you have to ditch your preferred topic and go with another one.
This lesson applies to writing as well. Even if you have freedom to include whatever examples or content you wish, your format will often suggest more natural topics, and, contrariwise, will build in natural barriers if you insist on alternative topics.
This might not be helpful for those of you speaking in work settings. But for those of you with some flexibility in content, but not in form, it bears remembering. I'll keep that in mind while I prepare for CC#3: Get to The Point.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Sample of what goes on in my head
Stuff that goes on in my head
(Morning, going to pharmacy and tutoring appointment)
Gotta go pick up this medication, even though it doesn't work, because Mom will keep nagging me otherwise.
Sigh -- hope that student is ready to learn today.
Speaking of which, what do you need to learn?
I guess I could learn some more programming.
Ugh.
Do you still have that IDL book?
I bought a new one to replace my professor's.
Was he a dick that he didn't give you one outright?
I don't know. He did put his name on it. Maybe it was his?
But there were no notes inside. And you brought your own funding!
Fuck it -- I'm not revisiting this.
Well, what about programming?
Sigh... I probably do know IDL better than I think. Maybe I should pick up a good C++ book.
Do you want to teach?
Maybe. Gotta send out those CC applications.
Will they take you? You don't have any curriculum! No syllabi! No teaching experience!
Hey, fuck you. I'm supposed to be more positive now.
You know, a good course would revolve around the car.
Yeah, yeah, you've said this before.
Huh. I probably should study a bit about that. The engine could be modeled as some irreversible thermodynamic reaction.
Yeah, you need to figure out how to explicitly make the connections to other subjects.
And, uh, the, uh, steering wheel thingy--
Power steering, dumbass?
Shut up! Yeah, that. I guess you could use a rotational model involving some sort of frictional torque.
Have to be a function. A constant wouldn't work.
Yeah.
Speaking of mechanics, how about giving tensors another try?
I still don't really appreciate the difference between that and a matrix.
Yeah, that kind of makes you relatively retarded compared with other physicists.
Saul Teukolsky would say "retarded" when we were doing special relativity in Electrodynamics class.
*giggles*
Stop that! It's inappropriate.
What's inappropriate is that I'm still trying to pretend to be a physicist.
Well, until you decide to drop that mantle of legitimacy that you cling to like a chewed teat, you probably could afford to revisit them.
I still don't know how I passed GR senior year.
Or how you got an A in that fields class.
Yeah.
You know what was a good tensor? The antisymmetric tensor.
Yeah! That made cross-products a bit easier.
And Lambda, or whatever it was called, that was the four-dimensional tensor used to keep track of the sign differences when talking about time and space.
Yeah. Those were the Good Ones.
Yeah, that was before you got way in over your head with Gamma functions and other shit you didn't understand.
Again fuck you.
Cross-products? I gotta review magnetic fields.
Speaking of which, how awesome is it that Tesla's on currency?
Yeah, we'd never have a scientist on currency here.
Maybe Edison.
Exactly. Edison was an asshole.
Actually, you're assuming that based on what little you've read about Edison and Tesla.
I read enough.
Huh. Aunty referenced Washington's birthday yesterday. He was born in 1732, right?
February 22, 1732. Though it was recorded differently because they used some shitty weird Julian calendar during the Colonial era.
Yeah. Say, wasn't he put on the quarter in 1932?
Yeah. Come to think of it, Lincoln got put on in 1909, a hundred years after his birth.
What about FDR?
Not sure. And I don't know whether 1938 was a significant anniversary for Jefferson.
God, you WERE a coin nerd at one point.
Numismatist, please!
Do you think your FB friends would care enough to read about the transition on coins from Columbia to Presidents?
Do you think I care enough to research it?
Probably not. But it does look like some function whereby the time between when they were born/died and when they get their face on a coin decreases with time.
But what about Jefferson?
Oh, right. Forget about it.
Kennedy got a coin the year after his assassination.
Wonder how that was pushed through.
Oh, wait. We're here. Time to buy medicine.
(evening, going to Panera before another tutoring appointment)
Wow, that girl sitting outside is hot.
[redacted]
You're too old! Jesus.
What's the cutoff?
Berlin Wall.
What?
Die Schandmauer. Has to be born before it came down.
That's what... anyone over 24?
Yeah.
Sigh. I'm broke and out of shape, anyway.
Yes. Yes. That's why we can't have nice things. Go in, fucker.
(enters Panera)
Huh, this is the wrong entrance.
Where's the bathroom?
Huh, that's not the right one.
Damnit, that server totally thought you were awkwardly checking her out.
She was in the fucking way! Besides, I made extra sure to be looking over her head.
Are you always so self-conscious?
Shut up. Time to pee.
(Goes into restroom, pees)
Goddamn it, you didn't shake enough times!
You're not supposed to shake more than twice; otherwise you're playing with it.
Fuck that shit. You're getting older. You gotta hold and squeeze at least four times now.
Wonder if I've got prostate problems.
Fuck. Are you really gonna put this on your blog later?
Yeah, probably.
You're fucked up and an attention whore.
Thank god you're wearing black pants. Why'd you wear a suit today, anyway?
I don't know. I think I wanted to see how the haircut would look with a suit.
That's stupid. And you didn't get one.
Well, Eugene's Hair Salon was closed.
But you walked into that other place. What happened?
Well, they didn't have Time magazine.
So?
All they had was weird tattoo mags and other crap.
Wow, how classist of you.
Shut up. Besides, I thought about it, and I don't think either of the stylists there could cut Asian hair.
You're probably right. That's why you didn't go to the old Mexican guy that cusses, right?
Yeah. He cracks me up and he's cheap, but I get a few patches on the side.
That's because you've got a lumpy head.
Mom shouldn't have told me about those times I fell out of the high chair.
Make you self-conscious?
Well, what if it made a difference?
You're an idiot. Go order some food.
(gets in line)
Huh. What's that? Looks like a nameplate that says "Republic of El Salvador" on that table with those two youngish guys.
Weird. Model UN?
"Excuse me."
Oh, I'm in the way of someone carrying dishes.
Oh! She's incredibly hot!
[redacted]
I think I'm about to say something.
"Oh, sorry."
Ok. Done.
Wait!
Why am I about to say more things?
"Excuse me. Is there a Model UN going on here?"
What the hell are you doing!?
"Uh, what?"
You know what, that's probably a binder that you're viewing edgewise.
"You know, a model UN. I'm not sure myself. See that sign?"
That makes you kind of an idiot.
"What?"
"Er, never mind. I'll ask them myself."
(she smiles, and walks away)
What the hell was that shit?
Uh, I don't know.
Did you have to act like a blathering idiot in front of an attractive woman?
Does it matter that she was an attractive woman? It was weird to say anyway.
Oh, well, THAT justifies it.
Shut up. Do you care about that name tag anymore?
No. Do you?
No.
Besides, who the fuck doesn't know about Model UN? Fuck her!
You barely did it in high school, fucker. Maybe she didn't do it.
Maybe I didn't enunciate.
WHO THE FUCK CARES?
MAKE BABIES
NOT WITH HER
Ok, I'm done.
Good, because you've done enough weird shit already today.
Go sit down and write.
But I haven't bought anything yet.
Fuck it. I need to get out of this line.
(Morning, going to pharmacy and tutoring appointment)
Gotta go pick up this medication, even though it doesn't work, because Mom will keep nagging me otherwise.
Sigh -- hope that student is ready to learn today.
Speaking of which, what do you need to learn?
I guess I could learn some more programming.
Ugh.
Do you still have that IDL book?
I bought a new one to replace my professor's.
Was he a dick that he didn't give you one outright?
I don't know. He did put his name on it. Maybe it was his?
But there were no notes inside. And you brought your own funding!
Fuck it -- I'm not revisiting this.
Well, what about programming?
Sigh... I probably do know IDL better than I think. Maybe I should pick up a good C++ book.
Do you want to teach?
Maybe. Gotta send out those CC applications.
Will they take you? You don't have any curriculum! No syllabi! No teaching experience!
Hey, fuck you. I'm supposed to be more positive now.
You know, a good course would revolve around the car.
Yeah, yeah, you've said this before.
Huh. I probably should study a bit about that. The engine could be modeled as some irreversible thermodynamic reaction.
Yeah, you need to figure out how to explicitly make the connections to other subjects.
And, uh, the, uh, steering wheel thingy--
Power steering, dumbass?
Shut up! Yeah, that. I guess you could use a rotational model involving some sort of frictional torque.
Have to be a function. A constant wouldn't work.
Yeah.
Speaking of mechanics, how about giving tensors another try?
I still don't really appreciate the difference between that and a matrix.
Yeah, that kind of makes you relatively retarded compared with other physicists.
Saul Teukolsky would say "retarded" when we were doing special relativity in Electrodynamics class.
*giggles*
Stop that! It's inappropriate.
What's inappropriate is that I'm still trying to pretend to be a physicist.
Well, until you decide to drop that mantle of legitimacy that you cling to like a chewed teat, you probably could afford to revisit them.
I still don't know how I passed GR senior year.
Or how you got an A in that fields class.
Yeah.
You know what was a good tensor? The antisymmetric tensor.
Yeah! That made cross-products a bit easier.
And Lambda, or whatever it was called, that was the four-dimensional tensor used to keep track of the sign differences when talking about time and space.
Yeah. Those were the Good Ones.
Yeah, that was before you got way in over your head with Gamma functions and other shit you didn't understand.
Again fuck you.
Cross-products? I gotta review magnetic fields.
Speaking of which, how awesome is it that Tesla's on currency?
Yeah, we'd never have a scientist on currency here.
Maybe Edison.
Exactly. Edison was an asshole.
Actually, you're assuming that based on what little you've read about Edison and Tesla.
I read enough.
Huh. Aunty referenced Washington's birthday yesterday. He was born in 1732, right?
February 22, 1732. Though it was recorded differently because they used some shitty weird Julian calendar during the Colonial era.
Yeah. Say, wasn't he put on the quarter in 1932?
Yeah. Come to think of it, Lincoln got put on in 1909, a hundred years after his birth.
What about FDR?
Not sure. And I don't know whether 1938 was a significant anniversary for Jefferson.
God, you WERE a coin nerd at one point.
Numismatist, please!
Do you think your FB friends would care enough to read about the transition on coins from Columbia to Presidents?
Do you think I care enough to research it?
Probably not. But it does look like some function whereby the time between when they were born/died and when they get their face on a coin decreases with time.
But what about Jefferson?
Oh, right. Forget about it.
Kennedy got a coin the year after his assassination.
Wonder how that was pushed through.
Oh, wait. We're here. Time to buy medicine.
(evening, going to Panera before another tutoring appointment)
Wow, that girl sitting outside is hot.
[redacted]
You're too old! Jesus.
What's the cutoff?
Berlin Wall.
What?
Die Schandmauer. Has to be born before it came down.
That's what... anyone over 24?
Yeah.
Sigh. I'm broke and out of shape, anyway.
Yes. Yes. That's why we can't have nice things. Go in, fucker.
(enters Panera)
Huh, this is the wrong entrance.
Where's the bathroom?
Huh, that's not the right one.
Damnit, that server totally thought you were awkwardly checking her out.
She was in the fucking way! Besides, I made extra sure to be looking over her head.
Are you always so self-conscious?
Shut up. Time to pee.
(Goes into restroom, pees)
Goddamn it, you didn't shake enough times!
You're not supposed to shake more than twice; otherwise you're playing with it.
Fuck that shit. You're getting older. You gotta hold and squeeze at least four times now.
Wonder if I've got prostate problems.
Fuck. Are you really gonna put this on your blog later?
Yeah, probably.
You're fucked up and an attention whore.
Thank god you're wearing black pants. Why'd you wear a suit today, anyway?
I don't know. I think I wanted to see how the haircut would look with a suit.
That's stupid. And you didn't get one.
Well, Eugene's Hair Salon was closed.
But you walked into that other place. What happened?
Well, they didn't have Time magazine.
So?
All they had was weird tattoo mags and other crap.
Wow, how classist of you.
Shut up. Besides, I thought about it, and I don't think either of the stylists there could cut Asian hair.
You're probably right. That's why you didn't go to the old Mexican guy that cusses, right?
Yeah. He cracks me up and he's cheap, but I get a few patches on the side.
That's because you've got a lumpy head.
Mom shouldn't have told me about those times I fell out of the high chair.
Make you self-conscious?
Well, what if it made a difference?
You're an idiot. Go order some food.
(gets in line)
Huh. What's that? Looks like a nameplate that says "Republic of El Salvador" on that table with those two youngish guys.
Weird. Model UN?
"Excuse me."
Oh, I'm in the way of someone carrying dishes.
Oh! She's incredibly hot!
[redacted]
I think I'm about to say something.
"Oh, sorry."
Ok. Done.
Wait!
Why am I about to say more things?
"Excuse me. Is there a Model UN going on here?"
What the hell are you doing!?
"Uh, what?"
You know what, that's probably a binder that you're viewing edgewise.
"You know, a model UN. I'm not sure myself. See that sign?"
That makes you kind of an idiot.
"What?"
"Er, never mind. I'll ask them myself."
(she smiles, and walks away)
What the hell was that shit?
Uh, I don't know.
Did you have to act like a blathering idiot in front of an attractive woman?
Does it matter that she was an attractive woman? It was weird to say anyway.
Oh, well, THAT justifies it.
Shut up. Do you care about that name tag anymore?
No. Do you?
No.
Besides, who the fuck doesn't know about Model UN? Fuck her!
You barely did it in high school, fucker. Maybe she didn't do it.
Maybe I didn't enunciate.
WHO THE FUCK CARES?
MAKE BABIES
NOT WITH HER
Ok, I'm done.
Good, because you've done enough weird shit already today.
Go sit down and write.
But I haven't bought anything yet.
Fuck it. I need to get out of this line.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Open-minded, closed for debate
I think I'm done debating most important things.
It doesn't mean that debate in itself is bad. But it requires a lot of conditions to come off effectively, and expectations have to be managed.
Generally, I'll only really want to engage in discourse if these conditions are met:
(1) Each of us can clearly articulate our assumptions, going as fundamental as necessary (but only if necessary);
(2) Each of us can set up a reasonably sound logical chain that leads to some conclusion that is contentious or otherwise interesting;
(3) Each person is willing and able to start from alternative assumptions and work forward in a logical manner, ideally to gain insight into the other perspective, but minimally, in order to test the logical structure of the other argument;
(4) Each has time and temperament to make sure the discourse is civil;
and, for expectations,
(5) No one expects to either change their view, or change the other person's.
*(6) If evidence is presented that shows one's opinion is wrong, they will admit it.
*This was added by Alex, and as a meta-example, I edited the list to include it.
Needless to say, these conditions are met rarely, though I'd like to think, happily, they are met more frequently by my circle of friends than could be expected elsewhere.
It seems like a lot of conditions, but they seem to all be required for the process to make any sense and have any value, and not devolve into a shouting match.
I realize, belatedly, what Professor Hal Barron at Harvey Mudd College was talking about at the height of the cross-burning/Kerri Dunn car vandalism bait-and-switch madness in 2004. He called for civility in the discussions we were having on the 5-C about race and social equity issues. But the emotional tenor of that particular meeting was just too damn high -- we had a professor cry on stage, and plenty of us cried too (including me, who, to my lasting shame, gave a rambling rant about more worldliness in our tech campus). The then-diversity coordinator gave an angry speech about her own experiences, which probably did not help reduce the temperature.
All of this is prologue to say that yes, I think I understand what it means to have a meaningful discussion with someone of opposing views. But I'm tired, and relatively content with where I am when it comes to political philosophy and general policy platform. I'll revisit and update that view, hopefully, as new data (or new to me) comes to the fore. But in general, I'm not sure I see any value in continuing to seek out opportunities to engage people with different political views.
This sounds closed-minded. And, despite the title of this post, it might be. But I'm still willing to read, and have my views challenged. In the last few months, I can remember three things I thought were "true" challenged.
As it turns out, the increase in federal debt is driven mostly by a fall in revenues, and not a rise in spending--even I had believed the Fox narrative, though as a Keynesian, I took a positive view of that false narrative.
I also started to appreciate that there is some statistical evidence indicating the deterrent value for crimes like burglary of having a publicly-known firearm in the house. (I haven't tracked down the specific study from Nashville, but I trust the reports referencing it.) I have to accept that, at least for a certain class of crimes, guns actually do behave as a deterrent, and that some actors, at some levels, are rationally deterred. I don't think this has changed my stance on guns tremendously, as the self-contradictory statements from gun advocates indicate. (In this case, gun advocates believe in its deterrent value, yet claimed that the publication of gun owner residences make it more likely for them to be targets for robbery. This, despite the statistical evidence to the contrary that, if they could be self-consistent, would actually make a case for gun ownership.)
Finally, regarding the Prop 38 37 GMO initiative, I eventually got convinced through some running dialogues (often involving dozens of highly intelligent people on FB) that while I still opposed the proposition on its execution, I did get a reframed perspective. I had approached the issue in terms of a referendum on the safety of GMOs (which I believe evidence supports), but my good friend clarified that I should approach it as a consumer choice problem. Even if I believe that GMOs are safe to eat and generally a good thing in our world, not everyone may agree, and it may be worth a small price to pay for labeling such that those who choose to, can opt out. My views on this are still evolving, but that's the point -- they are evolving thanks to an actual dialogue (or, more accurately, an heptadecalogue).
I should note that only the last is an example of an actual debate leading to changing views. The first two were prompted by questions raised by friends, which spurred me to research the questions on my own.
Look, I've debated American politics, gay marriage, American foreign policy, America's relationship with Israel, the death penalty, Benghazi, healthcare, gun ownership, Biblical literalism, libertarian philosophy, and a number of other things with intelligent people who happen to believe differently than I do.
Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was exhausting and frustrating, and changed my overall regard for the other person negatively. Sometimes one or both of us would duck out, just because it didn't seem to accomplish anything or one or the other just seemed extremely underprepared to have a real discussion about something.
At this point, however, I think that, even if it hasn't always been a waste of time in the past, it will be a waste of time going forward. My views are pretty well-formed, and I'm largely comfortable with them. They probably will evolve, perhaps radically, perhaps due to personal tragedy or more positive events (my view on taxes might change if I start making over $1 million a year). But I'm somewhat, cautiously confident in my ability to adapt given those changes, or new information, without subjecting myself to the torment of engaging for the sake of engaging.
Note: I don't have anyone in mind when I say all this. It's just a general conclusion I've reached over the last few months. Those of you who believe differently, and with whom I've had many conversations over the years, I love you. And we'll still talk about many, many things. And I can't say you're wrong for you. But I've concluded what you believe in would be wrong for me. And I need energy that would go toward honing debating points elsewhere right now.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Petition to the Obama Administration to Require a Facebook Dislike Button
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/require-facebook-provide-dislike-button/Zx9pBT4L
Here is the text for the lazy:
Here is the text for the lazy:
WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:
Require Facebook to Provide a Dislike Button
Facebook has ignored petitions for a dislike button. As the prime social networking platform, it should better comply with the First Amendment, which protects free speech and respectful dissent.
Facebook finds a dislike button valuable enough to use internally, via Push Kharma, to provide feedback to its software engineers.
Here is why an opt-out dislike button is needed on Facebook.
1. It lets users express disapproval easily without being offensive.
2. A dislike button lets users distinguish between posts with little interest and controversial posts.
3. It works well on other websites.
4. Facebook accounts are not anonymous. Users are more accountable, making it less likely it will be abused.
5. An official button will destroy the demand for malware dislike button imposters.
Silly White House Petitions
Update: you can view my own petition for a Facebook dislike button here. Sign it - it needs 150 signatures before it can be viewed by the public on the White House website!
I was curious, so I decided to survey all of the 239 (at time of writing) active petitions at https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petitions.
Some are quite serious, calling for, among other things, the recognition of a Sikh genocide in India in 1984, GLBT (when did it stop being LGBT?) marriage equality, transplant rights for autistic children, concealed weapons in Illinois (which, it claims, is the only state that doesn't offer concealed permits), student loan relief for Peace Corps volunteers, appointing a pediatric oncologist to the National Cancer Advisory Board, and Federal income tax exemptions for wounded and disabled veterans. Also, with about 7,000 signatures, is a petition to have all religious organizations pay federal, state, and local sales tax. This is another one close to the threshold. There's also a petition for a revenue-neutral carbon tax -- someone is taking this process seriously. Another worth looking at: a petition to declassify findings by NSA mathematicians. Also, resurrecting FDR's Second Bill of Rights.
Also, I learned about the Chagossians. (The U.S. Government Must Redress Wrongs Against the Chagossians)
But then there are the secession petitions, from a lot of states -- most notably Texas. (Alaska gets points, or loses them, for using all caps in its petition title, as well as making a Moses reference "LET MY PEOPLE GO!") And there is a counter-petition to strip the secession petition signatories of citizenship. This one would actually deport them, and has met the requisite 25,000 votes. There are more, too.
Here are some noteworthy weird petitions:
Shut down White House petitions, since they never get a sincere response, few read them, & they are ultimately worthless
This one actually has a good point. Didn't they take lessons from the Chevy Tahoe ad campaign (which might have been more successful than I thought)? Or maybe it's just being hipsterish.
Transfer funds from the drug war to fund the research and development of the genetic engineering of domestic cat girls
So, this. Why girls? Why not boys? Someone might be thinking of another kind of stimulus plan, even hairier than the passage of the first two. As it has only 649 signatures, it appears that the male furry stoner demographic can't be bothered.
Uninstall Obama- meaning remove Barack Hussein Obama, his appointed government leaders, & failed policies from America.
Ok. So let's assume they're serious, instead of trying to make some sort of smarmy point. I think this person is calling for a coup within the confines of a White House petition drive. Either this person vastly overestimates the power of a petition directed at an authority the author regards as illegitimate... OR "uninstall" refers to some software that Obamabot is using. Surely, you didn't think Romneybot was the only Android-American running for President?
Create and Approve The MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON National Holiday.
All caps are probably a no-no when addressing the Executive Office of the President. At least the petition links to a list of his humanitarian efforts. Whatever day it ends up being, it probably has to be in the first half of the month (under 16).
Stop non-citizens from voting illegally and the states from illegally sending non-citizens voter ID cards. Stop Fraud!!
More than one exclamation point should disqualify a petition. In fact, any exclamation point is probably not good. No grammatical errors, but the author is clearly pissed that the residents-but-not-citizens gave the election to Obama. Also wants us tracked nationally by social security number, which entails... what? Anything different from the status quo?
Disban the Humane Society of The United States on the basis of fraud and racketeering .
So, they forgot the "d" at the end of "disband" in the title. Intrigued, I read the text. Evidently the author misspelled too ("to"), and tactics ("tatctics"). The author is also concerned about the Humane Society banning all farm ownership of animals. Is the author absolutely certain that the target is PETA?
Require Barack Obama To Allow The Public Examination Of His Birth Certificate Records & His College & University Records
Birthers aren't back. They never left! Now in a new flavor -- college transcripts!
Stop the War on Gaza
First, the author is giving the POTUS a lot of credit if they think he can stop the war in Gaza. Second, it claims that Israel started all the wars. I'm not the biggest supporter of Israeli foreign policy, but that just isn't true. Everyone has their own line for when something is Anti-Semitic, but the mere fact that I'm bringing it up says that this probably is not a reasonable petition. Only 600+ signatures, and it's kind of moot.
United States Government recognition that Israel authored the 9/11 Terror attacks
Wow. This has 620 signatures, all of which have been entered into an FBI watch list. Seriously, tinfoil hat conspiracies + Anti-Semitism = loads of crazy. Still, worth reading, because it apparently resulted in Bin Laden being killed several times (why wasn't his word good enough?) and central banking conspiracies.
Nationalize the Twinkie industry
Sign this. It's a strategic resource. Fat people will help America float as the oceans rise, because trust me, I used to be a scientist.
For certain counties (within respected states) to withdraw from California and Oregon and form the State of Jefferson.
It's respective, dumbass. And lest you think I'm being unfair, I read the petition, and the author clearly means "respective". The last sentence reads, "Please grant us our freedoms that is promised to us". Also, California appears to be "to [sic] diverse". It looks like Fallout 2 nailed the characterization of the average resident.
Establish new legal system of motorcycle riding "Judges" who serve as police, judge, jury, and executioner all in one.
Nice. Nearly 3,000 signatures, and 20 days to go. "That's Honorable Hell's Angels to you, bitch!"
Allow United States Military service members to place their hands in their pockets.
I did not know this was not permitted. Maybe it's seen as threatening to the local population. Maybe it inhibits readiness -- I've never tried to shoot a gun from a position of hands in pocket, but I can imagine it would be difficult. Bonus points for borrowing from the flowery language of the Declaration of Independence, and for being
provide University graduates ability to trade their diplomas back for 100% tuition refunds.
And I thought I was bitter about college.
We, the People, DEMAND an immediate, thorough and honest investigation into GEO-ENGINEERING, HAARP, & "CHEMTRAILS"
Lost points for shouting. Claims that we are the victims of biochemical warfare.
Support a Resolution of Expulsion of Mitch McConnell from the Senate for his disloyalty to the United States.
Was joking about the practice of ostracism via White House petitions. Evidently someone beat me to it, and is very specific.This was at least educational -- it claims that the Senate has expelled fifteen members in its history. Not a McConnell fan (though I do think he should have the screen name McConnellSanders), but I think this is a bit harsh, and probably not a good idea to approach this via the executive branch.
have the President to attend a Fark.com party. If scheduling does not permit, at least have a beer with Drew Curtis
Nicely done. Free advertising FTW!
End to the War On Coal, end the job killing policies of the EPA and require an economic impact analysis of new policies
Evidently this suggests that there is no economic impact report done for new pieces of regulation. Also, I'm no expert, but I think coal's been losing the war in the marketplace for some time. It currently has over 25,000 signers, so a response will be forthcoming.
Recount the election!
Nearly 64,000 signatures. Self-explanatory.
Include Licensed Naturopathic Physicians as primary care providers in the Federal Healthcare Law (Obamacare).
Not sure it will make it (13,853, with 14 days to go). Perhaps like homeopathy, with fewer votes, it will be even stronger.
Repeal the House of Representatives Resolution 121 to stop aggravating int'l harassment by Korean propaganda & lies!
Persuade South Korea (the ROK) to accept Japan's proposal on territorial dispute over islets.
Remove the monument and not to support any international harassment related to this issue against the people of Japan.
I was not expecting to see a Japan lobby in these petitions. AIPAC is nowhere near here, other than a single proposal to support Israel no matter what (which probably does not have AIPAC involvement). I'm not sure if this is a testament to the weakness of the Japan lobby (also the Polish lobby), or if there are some Tule Lake folks that remain embittered. (Ask Google or your JA friends about the last bit.)
Note: these all have over 25,000 signatures. I didn't even know there were that many JA's left in America that were Internet-capable and gave a shit about politics. (Kidding. Barely.)
Light the White House Purple to Celebrate 75th Anniversary of March of Dimes and as Symbol of Hope to Preemie Families
It's over the threshold, and seems like a nice thing to do. Precedents, yes, but it's got the best shot of all of the petitions I've seen.
Stop destruction of our U-233 for more NASA space exploration, new cancer treatments and thorium based energy abundance!
I only learned recently about a small, obsessive group that believes in Thorium reactors. I'm ashamed that as a physics major, I don't know much about this type of reactor. But the vibe I got was similar to other groups that feel victimized and persecuted. (Related: see the surprisingly weakly supported petition, Answer ALL the questions posed by Congressman Ron Paul in his final speech on the House floor, Nov. 14, 2012.)
Help Free D. Randall Blythe From Prage, Czech Republic. Where he is falsely accused of commiting Manslaughter.
This is one of several petitions that ask for an intervention of some sort (pardon, reopened investigation, etc.) for a specific criminal case. I chose this one because it concerns a crime outside of the United States, thereby possibly necessitating federal involvement and because it is the only one above the threshold. If nothing else, the band Lamb of God has a decent number of fans.
What this taught me is that there is a paucity of well-written petitions. I've decided to create my own -- stay tuned!
I was curious, so I decided to survey all of the 239 (at time of writing) active petitions at https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petitions.
Some are quite serious, calling for, among other things, the recognition of a Sikh genocide in India in 1984, GLBT (when did it stop being LGBT?) marriage equality, transplant rights for autistic children, concealed weapons in Illinois (which, it claims, is the only state that doesn't offer concealed permits), student loan relief for Peace Corps volunteers, appointing a pediatric oncologist to the National Cancer Advisory Board, and Federal income tax exemptions for wounded and disabled veterans. Also, with about 7,000 signatures, is a petition to have all religious organizations pay federal, state, and local sales tax. This is another one close to the threshold. There's also a petition for a revenue-neutral carbon tax -- someone is taking this process seriously. Another worth looking at: a petition to declassify findings by NSA mathematicians. Also, resurrecting FDR's Second Bill of Rights.
Also, I learned about the Chagossians. (The U.S. Government Must Redress Wrongs Against the Chagossians)
But then there are the secession petitions, from a lot of states -- most notably Texas. (Alaska gets points, or loses them, for using all caps in its petition title, as well as making a Moses reference "LET MY PEOPLE GO!") And there is a counter-petition to strip the secession petition signatories of citizenship. This one would actually deport them, and has met the requisite 25,000 votes. There are more, too.
Here are some noteworthy weird petitions:
Shut down White House petitions, since they never get a sincere response, few read them, & they are ultimately worthless
This one actually has a good point. Didn't they take lessons from the Chevy Tahoe ad campaign (which might have been more successful than I thought)? Or maybe it's just being hipsterish.
Transfer funds from the drug war to fund the research and development of the genetic engineering of domestic cat girls
So, this. Why girls? Why not boys? Someone might be thinking of another kind of stimulus plan, even hairier than the passage of the first two. As it has only 649 signatures, it appears that the male furry stoner demographic can't be bothered.
Uninstall Obama- meaning remove Barack Hussein Obama, his appointed government leaders, & failed policies from America.
Ok. So let's assume they're serious, instead of trying to make some sort of smarmy point. I think this person is calling for a coup within the confines of a White House petition drive. Either this person vastly overestimates the power of a petition directed at an authority the author regards as illegitimate... OR "uninstall" refers to some software that Obamabot is using. Surely, you didn't think Romneybot was the only Android-American running for President?
Create and Approve The MICHAEL JOSEPH JACKSON National Holiday.
All caps are probably a no-no when addressing the Executive Office of the President. At least the petition links to a list of his humanitarian efforts. Whatever day it ends up being, it probably has to be in the first half of the month (under 16).
Stop non-citizens from voting illegally and the states from illegally sending non-citizens voter ID cards. Stop Fraud!!
More than one exclamation point should disqualify a petition. In fact, any exclamation point is probably not good. No grammatical errors, but the author is clearly pissed that the residents-but-not-citizens gave the election to Obama. Also wants us tracked nationally by social security number, which entails... what? Anything different from the status quo?
Disban the Humane Society of The United States on the basis of fraud and racketeering .
So, they forgot the "d" at the end of "disband" in the title. Intrigued, I read the text. Evidently the author misspelled too ("to"), and tactics ("tatctics"). The author is also concerned about the Humane Society banning all farm ownership of animals. Is the author absolutely certain that the target is PETA?
Require Barack Obama To Allow The Public Examination Of His Birth Certificate Records & His College & University Records
Birthers aren't back. They never left! Now in a new flavor -- college transcripts!
Stop the War on Gaza
First, the author is giving the POTUS a lot of credit if they think he can stop the war in Gaza. Second, it claims that Israel started all the wars. I'm not the biggest supporter of Israeli foreign policy, but that just isn't true. Everyone has their own line for when something is Anti-Semitic, but the mere fact that I'm bringing it up says that this probably is not a reasonable petition. Only 600+ signatures, and it's kind of moot.
United States Government recognition that Israel authored the 9/11 Terror attacks
Wow. This has 620 signatures, all of which have been entered into an FBI watch list. Seriously, tinfoil hat conspiracies + Anti-Semitism = loads of crazy. Still, worth reading, because it apparently resulted in Bin Laden being killed several times (why wasn't his word good enough?) and central banking conspiracies.
Nationalize the Twinkie industry
Sign this. It's a strategic resource. Fat people will help America float as the oceans rise, because trust me, I used to be a scientist.
For certain counties (within respected states) to withdraw from California and Oregon and form the State of Jefferson.
It's respective, dumbass. And lest you think I'm being unfair, I read the petition, and the author clearly means "respective". The last sentence reads, "Please grant us our freedoms that is promised to us". Also, California appears to be "to [sic] diverse". It looks like Fallout 2 nailed the characterization of the average resident.
Establish new legal system of motorcycle riding "Judges" who serve as police, judge, jury, and executioner all in one.
Nice. Nearly 3,000 signatures, and 20 days to go. "That's Honorable Hell's Angels to you, bitch!"
Allow United States Military service members to place their hands in their pockets.
I did not know this was not permitted. Maybe it's seen as threatening to the local population. Maybe it inhibits readiness -- I've never tried to shoot a gun from a position of hands in pocket, but I can imagine it would be difficult. Bonus points for borrowing from the flowery language of the Declaration of Independence, and for being
provide University graduates ability to trade their diplomas back for 100% tuition refunds.
And I thought I was bitter about college.
We, the People, DEMAND an immediate, thorough and honest investigation into GEO-ENGINEERING, HAARP, & "CHEMTRAILS"
Lost points for shouting. Claims that we are the victims of biochemical warfare.
Support a Resolution of Expulsion of Mitch McConnell from the Senate for his disloyalty to the United States.
Was joking about the practice of ostracism via White House petitions. Evidently someone beat me to it, and is very specific.This was at least educational -- it claims that the Senate has expelled fifteen members in its history. Not a McConnell fan (though I do think he should have the screen name McConnellSanders), but I think this is a bit harsh, and probably not a good idea to approach this via the executive branch.
have the President to attend a Fark.com party. If scheduling does not permit, at least have a beer with Drew Curtis
Nicely done. Free advertising FTW!
End to the War On Coal, end the job killing policies of the EPA and require an economic impact analysis of new policies
Evidently this suggests that there is no economic impact report done for new pieces of regulation. Also, I'm no expert, but I think coal's been losing the war in the marketplace for some time. It currently has over 25,000 signers, so a response will be forthcoming.
Recount the election!
Nearly 64,000 signatures. Self-explanatory.
Include Licensed Naturopathic Physicians as primary care providers in the Federal Healthcare Law (Obamacare).
Not sure it will make it (13,853, with 14 days to go). Perhaps like homeopathy, with fewer votes, it will be even stronger.
Repeal the House of Representatives Resolution 121 to stop aggravating int'l harassment by Korean propaganda & lies!
Persuade South Korea (the ROK) to accept Japan's proposal on territorial dispute over islets.
Remove the monument and not to support any international harassment related to this issue against the people of Japan.
I was not expecting to see a Japan lobby in these petitions. AIPAC is nowhere near here, other than a single proposal to support Israel no matter what (which probably does not have AIPAC involvement). I'm not sure if this is a testament to the weakness of the Japan lobby (also the Polish lobby), or if there are some Tule Lake folks that remain embittered. (Ask Google or your JA friends about the last bit.)
Note: these all have over 25,000 signatures. I didn't even know there were that many JA's left in America that were Internet-capable and gave a shit about politics. (Kidding. Barely.)
Light the White House Purple to Celebrate 75th Anniversary of March of Dimes and as Symbol of Hope to Preemie Families
It's over the threshold, and seems like a nice thing to do. Precedents, yes, but it's got the best shot of all of the petitions I've seen.
Stop destruction of our U-233 for more NASA space exploration, new cancer treatments and thorium based energy abundance!
I only learned recently about a small, obsessive group that believes in Thorium reactors. I'm ashamed that as a physics major, I don't know much about this type of reactor. But the vibe I got was similar to other groups that feel victimized and persecuted. (Related: see the surprisingly weakly supported petition, Answer ALL the questions posed by Congressman Ron Paul in his final speech on the House floor, Nov. 14, 2012.)
Help Free D. Randall Blythe From Prage, Czech Republic. Where he is falsely accused of commiting Manslaughter.
This is one of several petitions that ask for an intervention of some sort (pardon, reopened investigation, etc.) for a specific criminal case. I chose this one because it concerns a crime outside of the United States, thereby possibly necessitating federal involvement and because it is the only one above the threshold. If nothing else, the band Lamb of God has a decent number of fans.
What this taught me is that there is a paucity of well-written petitions. I've decided to create my own -- stay tuned!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
The Red Line: US jobs programs do not cover Binyamin Netanyahu
Despite claims to the contrary, Netanyahu is directly injecting himself into the US elections. He enjoys a closer relationship with Mitt Romney, and probably would be happier with a Romney victory. But regardless of his specific preference in the US Presidential election, he correctly senses that this US election gives him the maximum amount of influence, and is using it to push a more hawkish and explicit plan of attack against Iran's nuclear program.
Netanyahu is right about one thing - there is a red line approaching. But it's not the point of no return for Iran's nuclear weapons program. It is the point at which it becomes politically possible in the United States to question the nature and depth of the partnership with Israel.
I'm not exactly a dove regarding Iran. In the past I have tried summarizing the history of Iran's nuclear program with an addendum, and also considered a grim trigger strategy for Iran (and vented a bit about Netanyahu's rudeness at that time).
But there's a difference between developing plans for surgical strikes and committing to them publicly. The former can meet the national security requirements of Israel. The latter meets the political requirements of the Israeli government in general, and Netanyahu in particular.
Some voices in Israel realize that Netanyahu may be putting the relationship between Israel and the US, undermining the long-term security of the latter. (Sadly, I was unable to find a free version of the full text of the Haaretz opinion piece - if anyone finds it, it will be much appreciated.)
But I think Netanyahu has already been demanding and rude on many occasions in the past - remember VP Joe Biden's visit to Israel, during which the government just happened to unveil plans for new settlements?
Sometimes I wish I understood more about Israeli domestic politics. It would give me a handle on whether Netanyahu represents mainstream thought (which I doubt), and to what extent the Iranian threat is seen as both imminent and existential (more interesting, and possibly mainstream). So maybe Netanyahu is responding to his constituency.
Or, maybe he's also playing domestic politics and is pursuing policies, and pursuing them in a way, that will help Likud, and by extension, himself. Last time I checked, Likud is the party of the right -- it sure sounds like it under Netanyahu.
Look, the United States is Israel's most powerful and most loyal ally, to the point where I think it has significantly hurt American interests. So it is seen as our job to ensure the safety of our ally. But it is not our job to make sure Netanyahu has a job. That's his. As he's been part of the Israeli government for an awful long time, he must be somewhat good at that, at least.
Israel prides itself on being the only democracy in the Middle East. Putting aside challenges to that, that means the Israeli people are responsible for his persistence in politics. Like it or not, leaders in democracies are mirrors of us. We had George W. Bush for eight years, and rightly had our balls busted on that one. Israel has a parliamentary government, and can change leadership somewhat more frequently than we can, should they desire.
So I can thus infer that Israel has a sizable population that really is jingoistic and feels entitled to US protection.
Someone, please remind me why we're allies again.
PS: this graphic was a poor choice.
In his defense, an extensive search of the Internets reveal that this isn't a Wile E. Coyote bomb. The closest he comes is his trademark Acme rocket.
Here's hoping the Iranian weapons delivery systems prove equally defective.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Why you should hug a math major today (and maybe even scientists and engineers)
I've been working on Slader, a website where you answer math questions and get paid a bit per solution. There's more comprehensive information in a review here, if you're interested.
Anyway, it occurred to me that the math majors/grad students I know are absolutely, totally nuts.
Look, I like LaTeX. It makes things pretty, especially equations. I've had to use quite a bit of it to write papers which, though scientifically moribund, were at least formatted (roughly) according to ApJ standards.
But you math people are totally ridiculous.
I remember one of my suitemates (let's call him "Jeff", because that's actually his name) had to write homework solutions in LaTeX. This was for an upper-division math class taught by a very assertive (though quite nice) Chinese professor. (Direct quote from the professor in my multivariable math class explaining derivatives: "e^x is like a strong child; you hit it and it stays the same. ln x is like a weak child; it dies and gets buried underground.)
So I'm sure he, and the other math majors I know, had to do LaTeX all the time.
Anyway, I just solved a part of a calculus problem. It involves determining where a function is concave up. It's part 1 of five. After completing it, I realized that it was totally not worth 75 cents.
Here's what the solution looks like:
Now wait a minute, you might say. That looks not bad. Well, it's actually quite bad, as in I did a crappy job. It's sparse on the explanations. I should add in subsections indicating that you need to test for the cases when x>0 and x<0. But I got tired. And here's why. Here's the LaTeX source code that I used to actually write the solution.
Now this isn't bad if you're a computer scientist, or a mathematician, or an engineer. But I taught high school for the last year. I have no fucking clue how people handle coding all day. Maybe it's like French; I don't know how the hell it works, but I guess if you do it long enough, it makes sense to you, even if it makes you seem mechanical (programming) or pretentious (French).
Anyway, I have a whole new sympathy for math people who do this every goddamn day, for many hours of said goddamn day. So go hug one. Maybe it will help with the carpal tunnel and eyestrain.
Anyway, it occurred to me that the math majors/grad students I know are absolutely, totally nuts.
Look, I like LaTeX. It makes things pretty, especially equations. I've had to use quite a bit of it to write papers which, though scientifically moribund, were at least formatted (roughly) according to ApJ standards.
But you math people are totally ridiculous.
I remember one of my suitemates (let's call him "Jeff", because that's actually his name) had to write homework solutions in LaTeX. This was for an upper-division math class taught by a very assertive (though quite nice) Chinese professor. (Direct quote from the professor in my multivariable math class explaining derivatives: "e^x is like a strong child; you hit it and it stays the same. ln x is like a weak child; it dies and gets buried underground.)
So I'm sure he, and the other math majors I know, had to do LaTeX all the time.
Anyway, I just solved a part of a calculus problem. It involves determining where a function is concave up. It's part 1 of five. After completing it, I realized that it was totally not worth 75 cents.
Here's what the solution looks like:
Now wait a minute, you might say. That looks not bad. Well, it's actually quite bad, as in I did a crappy job. It's sparse on the explanations. I should add in subsections indicating that you need to test for the cases when x>0 and x<0. But I got tired. And here's why. Here's the LaTeX source code that I used to actually write the solution.
Now this isn't bad if you're a computer scientist, or a mathematician, or an engineer. But I taught high school for the last year. I have no fucking clue how people handle coding all day. Maybe it's like French; I don't know how the hell it works, but I guess if you do it long enough, it makes sense to you, even if it makes you seem mechanical (programming) or pretentious (French).
Anyway, I have a whole new sympathy for math people who do this every goddamn day, for many hours of said goddamn day. So go hug one. Maybe it will help with the carpal tunnel and eyestrain.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Your pretty, I'm desperate
An OkCupid study looked at response rates for messages containing certain phrases.
(via Sociological Images: http://contexts.org/socimages/2009/09/28
Lesson: knowing the proper use of "your" vs. "you're" is helpful, but "your pretty" is still better than proper use of the adverb "very", as in "very pretty". Does this mean that high praise tends to be viewed as excessive? Is it viewed as symptomatic of a value system overweight the physical? Or is it a good leading indicator of desperation or clinginess? The former is more likely, but I'm more amused by the latter possibility.
In other words, it's still bad to compliment a woman's looks vs. her personality as revealed by her profile. But if "your" going to do it anyway, and you have to choose between sounding like a moron and broadcasting even a whiff of desperation, go with moron.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Ms. K is still teaching
For the last few months/years, I have had a low enough opinion of my life and abilities that I do not do much to make my life better – it is the life of someone waiting for death, yet too cowardly to actively seek it out.
It is with some surprise, then, that I find myself feeling somewhat hopeful today. I attribute this to talking with one of my mom’s close teacher friends, whom I'll call Ms. K. (The original article had her name, which my mom rightly criticized as inappropriate to publish in its entirety, without permission.)
It is with some surprise, then, that I find myself feeling somewhat hopeful today. I attribute this to talking with one of my mom’s close teacher friends, whom I'll call Ms. K. (The original article had her name, which my mom rightly criticized as inappropriate to publish in its entirety, without permission.)
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
NYTimes -- Well:Talk Deeply, Be Happy?
NYTimes -- Well:Talk Deeply, Be Happy?
Three notes does not make a dies mirabilis, but I couldn't resist posting a link to a NYTimes article on the value of deep conversations. The researchers seem to think along similar lines to Frankl, that, for humans, meaning is a "primary motivation in his life and not a secondary rationalization of instinctual drives." (Man's Search for Meaning, 99).
From the Times article, it's not clear whether the can conclude definitively that substantive conversations make one happy -- it could be only that frivolous conversations makes one unhappy. An unquantified and vague anecdote with obvious confounding variables (my life) indicates that my unhappiness grew along with my attempts to get better at "networking" in the Ivy League.
(Then again, Data has a good time schmoozing with "Hutch" until aliens start shooting people.)
I don't believe brevity is not equivalent to vacuousness; after all, I am the grandson of a haiku poet. But I've seen precious little to coax me back to Twitter.
Three notes does not make a dies mirabilis, but I couldn't resist posting a link to a NYTimes article on the value of deep conversations. The researchers seem to think along similar lines to Frankl, that, for humans, meaning is a "primary motivation in his life and not a secondary rationalization of instinctual drives." (Man's Search for Meaning, 99).
From the Times article, it's not clear whether the can conclude definitively that substantive conversations make one happy -- it could be only that frivolous conversations makes one unhappy. An unquantified and vague anecdote with obvious confounding variables (my life) indicates that my unhappiness grew along with my attempts to get better at "networking" in the Ivy League.
(Then again, Data has a good time schmoozing with "Hutch" until aliens start shooting people.)
I don't believe brevity is not equivalent to vacuousness; after all, I am the grandson of a haiku poet. But I've seen precious little to coax me back to Twitter.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
How much of an impact is Twitter having in Iran?
This is a story about how I was caught gullible - twice.
Like everyone else who depends upon mass media for a fair amount of my news, I was a bit surprised that Twitter was arguably playing a significant role in the protests in Tehran over the recent presidential election. I mean, this is Twitter, whose model for communication opens itself up to breathtakingly easy parody, as Conan Seize-the-low-hanging-fruit O'Brien illustrates. (I love you Conebone.) Case closed... right?
Like everyone else who depends upon mass media for a fair amount of my news, I was a bit surprised that Twitter was arguably playing a significant role in the protests in Tehran over the recent presidential election. I mean, this is Twitter, whose model for communication opens itself up to breathtakingly easy parody, as Conan Seize-the-low-hanging-fruit O'Brien illustrates. (I love you Conebone.) Case closed... right?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Rules I use to avoid intellectual ossification
Never mistake being different with being right.
Never take criticism as evidence that you are right.
Reason through the logic using different sets of assumptions. Questioning someone's logic is not the same as questioning someone's assumptions.
Work to define the borders of areas of your competence, understanding, and experience. Work to expand those frontiers, but always redraw the map. Be wary of enclaves due to the passage of time, new research, or changing assumptions.
Never argue with someone who is unwilling to state or examine their assumptions; this typically leads to frustration, stress, and worst of all, deteriorating logic.
Wisdom is not equivalent to age. Nor is it a democracy.
Don't be afraid to make statements or take positions for the sake of practicing rhetorical devices, argument, or logic.
Do not drink your own kool-aid, unless it's really kool.
Will update later with more as I think of them. Additions are quite welcome.
Never take criticism as evidence that you are right.
Reason through the logic using different sets of assumptions. Questioning someone's logic is not the same as questioning someone's assumptions.
Work to define the borders of areas of your competence, understanding, and experience. Work to expand those frontiers, but always redraw the map. Be wary of enclaves due to the passage of time, new research, or changing assumptions.
Never argue with someone who is unwilling to state or examine their assumptions; this typically leads to frustration, stress, and worst of all, deteriorating logic.
Wisdom is not equivalent to age. Nor is it a democracy.
Don't be afraid to make statements or take positions for the sake of practicing rhetorical devices, argument, or logic.
Do not drink your own kool-aid, unless it's really kool.
Will update later with more as I think of them. Additions are quite welcome.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
What’s in a Name?
What’s in a Name? Weighing in on Texas State Rep. Betty Brown comments
I decided to write about the case involving Texas State Representative Betty Brown, (R-Terrell) (homepage), because I think it’s important to address events that might trigger emotional rather than nuanced reactions in as calm a manner as possible. There are way too many issues to take the eye off the ball and rant about a case which only serves to reinforce preexisting notions of an imagined “other”.
The Houston Chronicle reports that Rep. Brown made some controversial comments during a session of the House Elections Committee in response to testimony delivered by Ramey Ko, a representative of the Organization of Chinese Americans.
I decided to write about the case involving Texas State Representative Betty Brown, (R-Terrell) (homepage), because I think it’s important to address events that might trigger emotional rather than nuanced reactions in as calm a manner as possible. There are way too many issues to take the eye off the ball and rant about a case which only serves to reinforce preexisting notions of an imagined “other”.
The Houston Chronicle reports that Rep. Brown made some controversial comments during a session of the House Elections Committee in response to testimony delivered by Ramey Ko, a representative of the Organization of Chinese Americans.
Monday, March 16, 2009
The message, the motive, and the attribution
There are always at least three reasons given for why smart people do something: the reason they tell themselves; the reason they tell others; and the reason an external observer will infer by their words or actions. All of these are real, and have real effects - in essence, all are true.
If you count fewer than three, either you are analyzing someone thinking/behaving simply, or you are yourself thinking simply.
If you count fewer than three, either you are analyzing someone thinking/behaving simply, or you are yourself thinking simply.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
blogs and expertise
(Comments are based on an email I sent out recently to COMM 566 alums at Cornell)
I came across a blog post on the Economist that might be germane to our class discussions on how to build and maintain a technical blog.
I came across a blog post on the Economist that might be germane to our class discussions on how to build and maintain a technical blog.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Size of social networks on FB and in life
The Size of Social Networks: Primates on Facebook (Economist)
Great article on the Economist about the Dunbar number, which sets a rough limit on the number of social connections we humans tend to have. Also fascinating is that the number of intimate social friends we have (~7-10) has been on the decline. Need to read Bowling Alone at some point.
Great article on the Economist about the Dunbar number, which sets a rough limit on the number of social connections we humans tend to have. Also fascinating is that the number of intimate social friends we have (~7-10) has been on the decline. Need to read Bowling Alone at some point.
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