Oh! The places you will go!

Note: If you like this, you'll probably like "Tarp Funds in Hand", something I wrote around 2009.

Congratulations!

Today is your day.

You're off to Great Places!

You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

any direction you choose.

You're on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.

About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."

With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,

you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any

you'll want to go down.

In that case, of course,

you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there

in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen

and frequently do

to people as brainy

and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen,

don't worry. Don't stew.

Just go right along.

You'll start happening too.

OH!

THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!

You'll be seeing great sights!

You'll join the high fliers

who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.

You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.

Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.

Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.

Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so

but, sadly, it's true

that Bang-ups

and Hang-ups

can happen to you.

You can get all hung up

in a prickle-ly perch.

And your gang will fly on.

You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch

with an unpleasant bump.

And the chances are, then,

that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,

you're not in for much fun.

Un-slumping yourself

is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.

Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.

A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!

Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?

How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...

or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?

Or go around back and sneak in from behind?

Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,

for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused

that you'll start in to race

down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace

and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,

headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come, or a plane to go

or the mail to come, or the rain to go

or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow

or the waiting around for a Yes or No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite

or waiting for the wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO!

That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape

all that waiting and staying

You'll find the bright places

where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,

once more you'll ride high!

Ready for anything under the sky.

Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!

There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.

And the magical things you can do with that ball

will make you the winning-est winner of all.

Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,

with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't

Because, sometimes they won't.

I'm afraid that some times

you'll play lonely games too.

Games you can't win

'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!

Whether you like it or not,

Alone will be something

you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance

you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.

There are some, down the road between hither and yon,

that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go

though the weather be foul.

On you will go

though your enemies prowl.

On you will go

though the Hakken-Kraks howl.

Onward up many

a frightening creek,

though your arms may get sore

and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,

And I know you'll hike far

and face up to your problems

whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,

as you already know.

You'll get mixed up

with many strange birds as you go.

So be sure when you step.

Step with care and great tact

and remember that Life's

a Great Balancing Act.

Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.

And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...

be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray

or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,

You're off the Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.

So...get on your way!

Text by Dr. Seuss, from Oh! The Places You'll Go!



Image credits:

GOP candidates

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1111/68353.html

Iowa

http://www.solarpowerwindenergy.org/2011/05/04/getting-residential-solar-system-in-iowa/

Koch Brothers:

http://www.realaspen.com/article/928/The-Wizards-of-Oil-How-the-Koch-brothers-are-influencing-US-environmental-policy

MLK blvd

http://lookacute.com/2010/12/20/working-my-dominican-blowout/

Welcome to Compton

http://www.myspace.com/doeboy601

Whitesville, KY

http://www.ladyliberty.com/ky/Whitesville

Bachmann Magazine

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/08/09/bachmann-newsweek-cover-goes-for-insult-but-gets-criticism-in-return/

Rick Perry Time Magazine cover

http://www.cbs19.tv/story/15471523/gov-rick-perry-covers-time-magazine

Perry eating a corndog at state fair

http://rising-hegemon.blogspot.com/2011/08/iowas-only-defense-mechanism.html

Herman Cain

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/10/06/334170/herman-cain-top-10/

Rick Perry Oops

http://weknowmemes.com/2011/11/rick-perry-oops/

Grope

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/11/jon-stewart-on-the-real-herman-cain-scandal/

Colbert outpolling Huntsman
http://www.blogforarizona.com/blog/2012/01/survivor-gop-presidential-primary-whistling-dixie.html

Santorum Magic Card
http://spreadingsantorum.com/index2.html

Romney Poll
http://www.gallup.com/poll/152081/romney-santorum-lead-gop-positive-intensity.aspx

Enthnoreligious map of Iran

http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/iran.html

Romney Two-Face

http://comedicprose.com/2012/01/20/the-off-beat-by-the-numbers-with-mitt-romney/romney-two-face-2/

Paul Ryan
http://projects.washingtonpost.com/congress/members/r000570/

Chris Christie

http://motherjones.com/mojo/2011/09/chris-christie-president-2010-gop-donors

Sarah Palin

http://bossip.com/346423/one-of-sarah-palins-most-trusted-advisers-is-completing-a-memoir-that-will-reveal-how-dumb-this-silly-broad-really-is-43081/

Mike Huckabee guitar

http://www.time.com/time/politics/whitehouse/photos/0,27424,1690334,00.html

Mike Huckabee talking head

http://www.buzzbox.com/topic/mike-huckabee/

Obama laughing – fake

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/arts-post/post/obama-laughs-at-romney-vs-gingrich-super-bowl-in-the-new-yorker/2012/01/30/gIQAa2PrcQ_blog.html

Angry Newt Gingrich

http://blogs.e-rockford.com/applesauce/2012/01/20/newt-blames-media-for-ex-wifes-allegation-of-marital-dalliance-says-theyre-all-pro-obama/

Ron Paul money

http://rt.com/usa/news/ron-paul-santorum-romney-727/

Obama kills bin Laden

http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/sarah-palin-doc-trailer-must-see-or-must-zzz/question-1834405/?page=31&link=ibaf&q=&imgurl=https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOaipdzcrW4EZ6S1CLmnQoI4-XjceJk0CnUsScrupTMLUgwfIg-IZU15mE-hsaPQSXqzhMnSxq39uReHGuR9zdhzIYA8W6RD-5EECBt4vKpolFOLZbAKwV-pXLMvbMZEUtBWVZYGa-vivE/s400/donald-trump-obama-killed-osama-bin-laden-demotivational-poster.png

Newt Gingrich political cartoon

http://selfdeprecate.com/political-cartoons/best-newt-gingrich-political-cartoons/

Dogs against Romney

http://storyful.com/stories/20711

Massachusetts Health care

http://mittromneycentral.com/resources/romneycare/

Santorum and McLovin

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/46039936/ns/today-today_people/t/young-santorum-mclovin-do-you-see-resemblance/

A brief summary of Iran's Nuclear Program and its status under the NPT

I decided to post this because I'm currently having an extended conversation with a friend about military intervention in Iran. I wrote this brief summary and analysis of Iran's nuclear program a few months ago. It was designed to sort of keep my writing and research skills up, but I was disappointed that it still reads like an undergrad paper. It contains a brief history of Iran's nuclear program, recent information concerning both Iran's economy and leaks about its nuclear capabilities, and its connection to China and Russia. Comments and corrections welcome.


An update was posted in early March. You can find it here.

Looking for the Silver Lining in the Mushroom Cloud

Introduction:

The most recent International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) report on Iran’s nuclear program indicates that it has continued to refine uranium and is developing an implosion-type detonation device. The most recent US National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) on Iran’s nuclear program also reverses claims previously made in the 2007 NIE, which claimed that Iran was not actively pursuing nuclear weapons. The 2011 NIE is secret, but rumors indicate that Iran is actively pursuing a weapons program and will have the capability to develop a weapon within a few years.

History of Iran's Nuclear Program

A brief review of the history of Iran’s nuclear program is in order. Iran’s nuclear program began in 1957. Under the auspices of US President Eisenhower’s “Atoms for Peace” program, Iran received fuel, small reactors, expertise, and low-enriched uranium (LEU). In 1968, Iran signed the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty (NPT) and completed its safeguards agreement with the IAEA. France and Germany also worked with Iran in the 1970s. A 1974 US National Intelligence Estimate (NIE) determined that the Shah was likely to attempt a nuclear weapons program; that same year, India detonated its first nuclear weapon. Nonproliferation concerns caused France and Germany to abandon their nuclear reactor projects in Iran.

After the Islamic Revolution in 1979, Western powers cut off most diplomatic and economic relations, with the US personally blocking bilateral agreements for nuclear power and fuel between Iran and Argentina, China, and Russia. Israel attacked Iranian nuclear facilities in 1981, but the program was rebuilt, in part, by help from Pakistani scientist A.Q. Khan. After Khomeini’s death, his successor, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, reprioritized technological development and research, including the nuclear weapons program. The invasion of Iraq in 2003 may have led the Iranians to place a moratorium on their nuclear weapons program, as reported in a 2007 NIE. (Bruno, 2010) However, recent evidence, summarized in the Nov. 8 IAEA report, indicate that Iran has continued to make progress refining uranium to weapons-grade and is working on the detonation device that will make it a practical weapon.

         

Iran and the NPT

            Iran had previously been cited for violations of the NPT, specifically Article III, which requires signatories to comply with the IAEA to implement safeguards and inspections. (NPT Treaty, 1968) Iran has refused to provide the IAEA access or information to all of its nuclear facilities on numerous occasions. The most recent report claims that Iran is now in violation of Article II as well, as it is developing a mechanism for detonating a nuclear weapon.

     

China, Russia, and Iran's Economy:

       Unfortunately for the parties worried about a nuclear-armed Iran, neither the Chinese nor the Russians appear to be willing to turn against their ally of sorts. The Chinese import the vast majority of Iranian oil, and, with the withdrawal of most Western business, constitute a large share of the foreign investment and trade with Iran. China has invested over $40 billion in energy projects in Iran and is the regime’s largest trading partner, with over $20 billion in trade each year. (Alwatan Daily, 2010) For its part, Russia has agreed to $1-2 billion of projects with Iran to develop nuclear power plants at Bushehr, with the promise of more cooperation down the road. (GlobalSecurity.org, 2011) Therefore, while recent news reports from the White House indicated agreement between the US, Russia, and China on Iran’s nuclear program, it is unclear whether that means a new round of UN sanctions would not be vetoed by either party.

            It is worth noting that while sanctions have not stopped the nuclear program, they have hurt the Iranian economy, leading to increasing amounts of unrest, most recently culminating in the failed Green Revolution of 2009-2010. Some optimists hold out the hope of internal regime change in Iran, one that would bring a pro-Western government to power that would disarm. However, the Arab Spring has left Iran relatively untouched, and the case of Syria – Iran’s close ally – indicates that regime change will not happen while a majority of the army remains loyal to the government.

            The global recession also caused oil prices to plunge, which have severely limited Iran’s ability to raise foreign currency. Note that its break-even point for crude prices for Iran was at $90/bbl as of 2008, well above oil prices for most of the last three years. (Gulf Times, 2008). Consequently, the Iranian government, which has limited opportunity for borrowing abroad, has likely reduced domestic oil subsidies, probably leading to greater economic hardship and social instability. Note that the Arab Spring happened when it did in part because of a spike in food prices.While this suggests that regime change could solve the problem for the world, most analysts anticipate that it would take a few years – longer than the time it would take for Iran to successfully produce a nuclear weapon.

  

Military Intervention in Iran:

            This leaves the option of military intervention. The most likely scenarios involve either the United States or Israel bombing the known and suspected nuclear facilities. It is unclear, however, what percentage of the weapons facilities are known and vulnerable to airstrikes.

            Another, less likely but intriguing scenario, would have an Arab nation or coalition attack Iran’s nuclear program. This prospect seems somewhat less far-fetched when one considers the historically strained relationship between the Arab states and Iran, born of religious and ethnic differences as well as concerns that its population and resources could overrun small (Jordan) or sparsely populated (Saudi Arabia) Arab states. The recent Wikileaks release indicates that Arab diplomats are very concerned about a nuclear Iran. (Zirulnick, 2010). If the Arab states will not attack Iran directly, they may be willing to offer public support for a military option.

            The next six months will be critical. Israel has indicated that it believes that Iran will have a weapon within a year. Given that it views an Iranian nuclear weapon as an existential threat (and Iran itself has done little to dissuade them of that idea), then it is likely that Israel or the United States will act within that time period.

References:

Bruno, Greg. (2010). “Iran’s Nuclear Program”. Council on Foreign Relations. Available at http://www.cfr.org/iran/irans-nuclear-program/p16811.

Zirulnick, Ariel. (Nov. 29, 2010) “WikiLeaks reveals 5 Arab countries concerned about Iran”. Christian Science Monitor. Available at http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Middle-East/2010/1129/WikiLeaks-reveals-5-Arab-countries-concerned-about-Iran/Saudi-Arabia.

(Nov. 8, 2011) Implementation of the NPT Safeguards agreement and relevant provisions of Security Council resolutions in the Islamic Republic of Iran. International Atomic Energy Agency. GOV/2011/65.  Available at http://www.iaea.org/newscenter/focus/iaeairan/bog112011-65.pdf.

(1967) The Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons (NPT).  United Nations. Available at http://www.un.org/en/conf/npt/2010/npttext.shtml

(2011) “WMDs: Bushehr”. Globalsecurity.org. Available at http://www.globalsecurity.org/wmd/world/iran/bushehr.htm.

(August 1, 2010) “China invests $40 billion in energy, gas”. Alwatan Daily. Available at http://alwatandaily.kuwait.tt/resources/pdf/802/12.pdf.

(Sept. 21, 2008). “Saudi needs oil above $49 to avoid deficit; Qatar break-even $24: IMF”. Gulf Times. Available at http://www.gulf-times.com/site/topics/article.asp?cu_no=2&item_no=242775&version=1&template_id=48&parent_id=28

Ten of my malleable perspectives on the world

I am not looking forward to a discussion with a family friend about religion. He is a devout Christian; I am a recently converted agnostic/atheist. (I'm still most comfortable somewhere between what I believe each term means.) Functionally, I guess I'm a bit of a Unitarian - I help out and occasionally attend my family church. Granted, it's a pretty liberal denomination (United Church of Christ), which, in practice, means that biblical literalism is low on the priority list, assuming it even appears.

But this post isn't about my journey to and from Christianity (or Buddhism for that matter...). I decided to just throw out a few things I perceive of the world around me, and open myself up to the challenge of refining or rejecting these conceived notions. So have at it - I'll offer them as points with an economy of explanation.

1. Keynesian economics is mainstream economics, supported by considerable evidence and pretty basic economic logic. It runs into practical issues only because of the ratchet effect of government spending, which is a political problem, but should be addressed after economic recovery has stablized, and not during the process.

2. I personally know too many great people of faith to reject the value of faith in America and in the world, even as I don't personally count myself among believers. I still attend church occasionally because it provides a community I haven't been able to find elsewhere.

3. US foreign policy has been sabotaged by our messianic perspective on our mission in the world, stemming from Woodrow Wilson and a general cultural heritage born of relative peace, prosperity and stability within our borders. There is room to temper this with a bit of realism, and still be a reasonably decent member of the community of nations.

4. Birth order plays a very large role in personality. A lot of things that were previously confounding about my family and friends became more understandable when I started viewing things through that lens.

5. In extreme cases (bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc.), prescription drugs are necessary and life-saving. But antidepressants are not really useful. However, they are somewhat habit forming, in that the withdrawal period is horrible.

6. It is possible to make a joke about anything. Anything. However, most of us lack the ability to either execute or appreciate such a joke. The possibility helps us heal and move on; the recognition of our limitations in that facility keep us from being complete jackasses.

7. The European Union is not arthritic because of its models of the welfare state. It has problems because of a structure that gives veto power to each member and the divergence of culture and interests within the community. Centralization and effective execution of Europe-wide domestic economic reforms and effective foreign policy will require an external threat. The Soviet Union is gone, and America, while criticized, is never seen as a credible threat. Therefore, barring a dramatic change, we have witnessed the peak of EU power for our lifetimes.

8. Anthropogenic global warming is almost self-evident in its correctness given a fairly basic level of physics - or it is according to my understanding of the science. If you studied and understood quantum mechanics, you would understand why carbon dioxide and water vapor are relatively opaque in the infrared (rotational modes). This means it doesn't radiate away nicely - it gets somewhat trapped and leads to a higher temperature than if the atmosphere were transparent. If you understand where the oil came from, and appreciate some basic conservation of mass (with corrections for chemical reactions), then it makes sense that industrialization and deforestation are tied with an increase in CO2. Therefore, if burning fossil fuels, making concrete, and cutting down trees releases lots of CO2 and restricts its reuptake, and if CO2 is opaque in the infrared, and if that leads to higher surface temperatures and different weather patterns, then what the hell is the controversy?

9. Even so, we will not be able to stop global warming and climate change. Mitigation efforts will be needed. A lot of people will die, indirectly, because of this. It will be a tragedy, but spread out over so much time, and with enough other sources of blame (war, persistent poverty, greed, bad luck, religion) that the tragedy will be diluted into accepted normality. But mitigation companies will be well poised to be a spectacular growth field.

10. Australia's lifestyle, civil structure, and comedy are among the finest in the world. A shame it is also characterized by an intense hatred of boat people and aboriginals. I could consider living there for a large chunk of my life.

11. Engineers and lawyers make particularly difficult friends/partners, because the rules-based thinking contaminates area of lifestyle that are not well negotiated by rules-based systems (or at least rules-based systems with relatively complex levels of subordinate and superodinate "goods" - which I've never seen implemented particularly effectively by anyone).

12. Most social changes in civil rights are generational. People don't change their minds quickly, if at all. Laws and customs change when old people die.

13. I can't count.

My local HSBC banker was a dick to an old lady in a walker

A follow-up that reduces most, but not all, of my initial anger/concern, is described here.

This really, really pissed me off today.

I was trying to deposit some money at the counter at the one surviving HSBC branch near to my house.

#199
ROWLAND HEIGHTS OFFICE
(C. F. PLAZA) 18250 COLIMA ROAD 
ROWLAND HGTS, CA  91748

An elderly lady, accompanied by her grandson, entered the bank, assisted with a manual walker. She and her grandson make their way slowly to the window nearest the safe deposit boxes. Once they are at the end, the local branch manager (or some high-ranking banker in the branch), a tall Chinese guy, informed them that they will need to actually wait in the line. The old lady shuffles back slowly to the line. The banker barely mumbles a "sorry" before hurrying away to his office.

The line goes very slowly. They are understaffed on a Friday afternoon - understaffed, at least, at the counter.

I, the old lady, and the grandson wait in line for about 20 minutes.

There were a few bankers in cubicles, including the unhelpful tall guy. Not a single banker stepped back behind the counter to open a register. It's possible they don't have that authority or flexibility. It's possible they were required to fill out paperwork or process critical information at 4:30 PM on a Friday.

But the overwhelming message I got was a big "fuck you" to the people waiting, and especially to this old lady. I wonder if it would've been different if she hadn't had her grandson carrying a heavy satchel.

To my shame, I didn't offer her the opportunity to go ahead of me in line. I really should have. I thought about even lugging a chair from the waiting area to the line so she could at least rest for a while. (But then I thought that she could have rested in the waiting area, and had her grandson wait in line for her, if she felt the need.)

This isn't the first time I've witnessed this crappy customer service by the tall guy. A similar situation, a couple months ago, involved long lines and zero support behind the counter by the senior bankers.

Look, I realize HSBC is restructuring its North American footprint. Although the heavy Chinese  concentration in Rowland Heights probably means this branch will remain open, I understand if people are stressed about keeping their jobs. At a previous visit, I congratulated a teller, explaining that I assumed she had recently gotten the job. As it turns out, it sounds like she lost her full-time position elsewhere and was now a part-time employee. :(

Also, I like HSBC. They've kept their fees low, and I've really enjoyed their customer service in New York, Maryland, and in Pasadena/San Gabriel. So I'm not someone who has an axe to grind with a bank because I was dumb enough to let my account be overdrafted.

But the point is, I still think he should've let her go to the safe deposit box. At the absolute bare minimum, he should've apologized a bit more generously to the lady, explaining either that it was unfair to other customers to help her first, or at least acknowledge her existence. Hell, this lady probably survived the Cultural Revolution. Or early KMT rule in Taiwan. That should count for something.

It is dangerous to generalize from a single person's behavior on multiple instances to a more general statement about culture. Yet I will do precisely that, because it does mesh with other experiences I've had with the emerging Chinese and Chinese-American culture. If this banker is any indication, the narrative of Confucian reverence for elders is absolute bullshit, at least in the finance industry. The bank is completely Chinese or Taiwanese; not a single employee I saw was not fluent in at least Mandarin.

What this banker communicates is that it's perfectly acceptable to treat someone like shit, no matter how old, as long as they are a low-value customer. The bank wasn't making much on that safe deposit box. Maybe she didn't have a mortgage with the bank. Maybe she, like me, had just a crappy checking account and modest savings there.

But she's still an old lady and a human being.

Maybe there's a cultural thing I'm not getting. Maybe its considered rude to imply, however obliquely, to the elderly that they need help. I hope my Chinese friends let me know. (Given the other experiences, I'm unwilling to extend the banker the benefit of the doubt.)

I usually don't do this, but I'm going to definitely communicate this as a letter to the branch manager. I had to do some banking at Chase later the same day, and it was shocking the difference in attitude and basic human decency. It takes a lot to get this old crank into action. But congratulations asshole; you achieved the impossible today. I'm not going to pretend that my withdrawal of my broke-ass cash will make a difference. But I will tell people as much as I can about this disgraceful incident.

Wait a minute - NOW I get research insight?

For those who want only the insight that I got from a dream, scroll down.

Introit (Introduction):

For those who don't know me well, I'm about four years out of grad school. It was rough going, and I actually left with a masters degree with a full year of NSF fellowship money to go. I suppose I could've stayed another year and no one would've bothered me too much, as I had my own money. But it was hell, mostly self-inflicted. It's tricky though to still be uncertain about whether it was the right choice.

During that time, I worked on something called non-redundant aperture masking interferometry. It's a lot of words, and it deserves them. I'll do my best to explain it without much jargon.

Assuming little or no science background
Because light behaves as a wave, it can form interference patterns. I used a specially designed device that "created" the interference pattern by forcing a star's light to pass through a small metal disk in a detector. The metal disk had a number of holes drilled into it (9 or 18), spaced apart just so that it would generate a snowflake pattern that was both pretty and scientifically useful. Very Important Fact - the spacings were such that no two holes were the same distance apart, and were arranged at a variety of angles along the disk. By analyzing the pattern using some sophisticated software, it was possible to identify binary stars that were otherwise too close together. The software could also be modified to do things like detect asymmetry - as in a planetary nebula. Second Very Important Fact: this only works at telescopes that have adaptive optics, which can help correct for atmospheric turbulence.

I was  part of observations at Palomar Observatory, a couple hours outside of San Diego. (Fun aside: one of the observatory staff told me stories of a former Cornell professor who shall remain nameless who, back in the day, would take his students to TJ when they were rained out. Once in TJ, they would get completely drunk. Needless to say, I'm guessing he had an all-male research group, and that he's a particular outlier as far as professionalism/personal adventurousness. I believe he's still a professor, and quite successful.)

Analogy for high school/early college physics students (non-majors):
Remember Young's double-slit experiment? Well, instead of two slits, I had pinholes arranged such that each set of pinholes was essentially a double-slit, each in a different direction. This is the non-redundant part.

More complicated, for engineers and scientists
The non-redundant mask generated an interference pattern that was spread across the near-IR detector (InGaAs, if I recall). The baselines ranged from about half the pupil length to nearly the full pupil, and sampled pretty comprehensively different orientations on the sky. The hole diameter was made to be smaller than the scale of an atmospheric turbulence cell, given by the Kolmogorov 5/3 law.

To wit, you use a (inverse) Fourier transform on the interferogram to reconstruct the original image. The key is to use closure phase, which basically says that for a flat incoming wave, the difference in phase across each leg of a triangle array should be zero. Any nonzero results are due to asymmetry in the wavefront, which is corrected using the telescope's adaptive optics system and a nearby calibration star.

Don't ask me for any more mathematical details. It'll just remind me of the stony silence I got at my committee meetings when I struggled with the presentations.

Note: I realize this is fairly elementary to radio astronomers. The key excitement factor is getting the technique to work in optical and near-IR wavelengths. It deserves to be kind of a big deal.

Astronomer's note: the targets were nearby low-mass stars (class M), identified as such by spectroscopy and their high proper motions. 

Kyrie (frustration):

One of the frustrating things is that it often didn't work well. I was using someone else's software, and to be honest, I had trouble following the math. I had the background, but it was still a challenge, and my Fourier Transforms class at Mudd was right after lunch. (This means I fell asleep a few times, even though it was a class of only about 25 people.) Also, I'm guessing atmospheric turbulence made it challenging. Additionally, the targets we were looking at were relatively dim. More dim means less light, which means the snowflake pattern gets pretty weak. All of this conspired to make it such that, when it came time to present my work, I had no results from the dozen or so stars I looked at that actually used the technique. (I did identify a half-dozen or so previously undiscovered companions using standard adaptive optics.)

Rex tremendae (Research insight):


So here comes the dream. I'm in a Harvey Mudd classroom, specifically the electronics/modern physics lab in the physics department with people from high school. Then it hits me - the problem is throughput. Therefore, move the targets to brighter stars (sun-like stars). We did that for the calibration stars. But wait! This could be used to analyze the host of transiting systems detected by ground observations and the Kepler mission. (These are systems where a planet passes in front of the star, which is detectable from Earth as a small decrease in the star's brightness.)

Non-redundant aperture masking could actually improve the resolution such that it would be possible to determine the precise orientation of the planet and star along the sky. Coupled with radial velocity data, it might lead to improved resolution on the planetary masses.

Lacrymosa (Problems with this insight):


As I wake up more fully, I'm realizing a couple problems with this.

First, the point of this research was to get resolved data on a binary system. By taking snapshots at regular intervals, it would be possible to determine the orbit in 3-D space, allowing for a precise mass determination of both components in a binary. (It could be generalized to more complicated star systems, but the analysis gets - you guessed it - more complicated.)

Sampling from just across the planetary disk won't provide enough information on the orbit to actually provide a full 3-D picture of the orbit. Or, more accurately, it provides little that can't be determined just from regular techniques.

Another problem: Transiting systems are ideal for analysis precisely because they are edge-on systems. What this means is that the line of observation (Earth to the transiting system) is necessarily perpendicular to the angular momentum vector of the system. This means the radial velocity data provides not a lower mass limit, but the actual mass.

The potential improvement in determining this angle is minor, at best.

The only possibility for actually useful results would be if this technique still provided enough information about asymmetry that it could, with standard photometry, get a more accurate sense of the size of these planets. This could provide information about its density and potential composition, which could prove important for formation models.

But again, as I wake up a bit more, I'm less confident about this.

Agnus Dei (Conclusion):


It was interesting - I told a classmate in the dream that I was going to blog this.

Unfortunately, the wakeful, somewhat thoughtful part of me is now questioning the value of this "insight" gained in the dream. This is unfortunate, not because I felt like making a contribution to observational astronomy and extrasolar planet research, but because it was going to be the first problem I had solved in a dream. (During my first semester in college, I occasionally had dreams about programming and math, but I never actually solved anything this way. Also, in dreams where I'm being chased by bad guys, my gun never works. I wonder if my subconscious is trying to suggest I'm sterile or impotent. In that case, fuck you subconscious!)

Poo. This wasn't worth waking up and breaking Facebook fast.