TARP Funds in Hand

Uncle Sam!
Uncle Sam!



That Uncle Sam!
That Uncle Sam!
I do not like that Uncle Sam!

Do you like TARP funds in hand?

I do not like them, Uncle Sam.
I do not like TARP funds in hand.



Would you like them here or there?

I would not like them here or there
I would not like them anywhere.
I do not like TARP funds in hand.
I do not like them, Uncle Sam.



Would you like it for a house?



Or maybe for a trophy spouse?



I do not like them with a house.
I do not like them for a spouse.
I do not like them here or there
I would not like them anywhere!
I do not like TARP funds in hand.
I do not like them, Uncle Sam!



Would you eat them for some stock?



Or to prevent systemic shock?





Not for some stock.
Not for a shock.
Not with a house.
Not for a spouse.
I would not take them here or there.
I would not take them anywhere!
I would not take TARP funds in hand.
I do not like them, Uncle Sam!

Would you spend it on a car?







Take them! Take them! Here they are!

I would not, could not, on a car.

You may like them. You will see.
We make money grow on trees!



I would not, could not, from a tree.
Not on a car. Not overseas!

I do not like them for some stock.
I do not like them for a shock.
I do not like them with a house.
I do not like them for a spouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
I do not like TARP funds in hand.
I do not like them, Uncle Sam!

A plane! A plane!
A plane! A plane!
Would you spend them on a plane?



Not on a plane! And not from trees!
Not on a car! Sam! Let me be!

I would not, could not, for some stock.
I could not, would not, for a shock.
I will not take them for a spouse.
I will not take them with a house.
I will not take them here or there.
I will not take them anywhere!
I do not like TARP funds in hand.
I do not like them, Uncle Sam!



Say! In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you,
in the dark?



I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you give it to John Thain?



I would not give it to John Thain.
Not in the dark. Not for a plane.
Not for a car. And not from trees.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not with a house. Not for some stock.
Not for my spouse. Despite the shock.
I will not take them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like TARP funds in hand?

I do not like them, Uncle Sam.



Could you feed them to a goat?



I would not feed them to a goat!

Would you take them on a boat?



I could not, would not, on a boat.
I would not feed them to a goat!

I will not give it to John Thain.
I will not spend it on a plane.
Not in the dark! And not for free!
Not for a car! You let me be!
I do not like them for some stock.
Or to prevent systemic shock.
I will not take them with a house.
I will not take them for a spouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!

I do not like TARP funds in hand!
I do not like them, Uncle Sam!



You do not like them. So you say.
Try them! Try them! And you may.
Try them and you'll play, I say.



Sam! If you will let me be,
I will try them. You will see.

Say! I like TARP funds in hand.
I do! I like them, Uncle Sam!
And I would take them on a boat.
And I would feed them to a goat.

And I will give them to John Thain!
And in the dark. And for a plane.
And for a car. It grows on trees!
They are so good, so good, you see!

So I will eat them for some stock.
And I will eat them through the shock.
And I will eat them with a house.
And I will eat them for my spouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!

I do so like TARP funds in hand!
Thank you!
Thank you, Uncle Sam!



Photo credits:

Henry Paulson, Jr., former CEO of Goldman Sachs, former Treasury Secretary:
http://www.boston.com/business/ticker/Paulson.jpg

Dick Fuld, former CEO of Lehman Brothers:
http://media.washingtontimes.com/media/img/photos/2008/10/07/20081006-234023-pic-500071225.jpg

James Cayne, former CEO of Bear Sterns:
Associated Press, via http://a.abcnews.com/Business/MarketTalk/wireStory?id=4538856

Foreclosed Home:
http://www.realestatebylis.com/images/foreclosure-home-sale-sign.jpg

Wall Street Widows:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/28/nyregion/28daba.html?em

Vikram Pandit, CEO of Citigroup:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/data?pid=avimage&iid=i60ouZkWiCJQ

Two-year chart of Citigroup:
http://www.stockcharts.com

S&P/Case-Shiller Home Price Index:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/data?pid=avimage&iid=i60ouZkWiCJQ

Stormtrooper Unemployed:
http://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/stromtrooper_unemployed.jpg

Sad GM logo:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdKAvswUqPxllvVVAvIJWpB3Rz_y0LrBdLt-XEkREcJtXGxzGyoljQzZsvj654ggnI-ilvfqKPDUB6b1jxID9JKaRNK1ThpxzatCDHYV7RAWfHYumOwznyJPSnK9Qxd6ENYhDIBw3UKfzS/s320/GM+Logo.jpg

Ford-Fail logo:
http://www.ironicsans.com/2008/12/auto_industry_fail.html

Chrysler-Crisis Logo:
http://www.businesspundit.com/after-the-crisis-a-parody-of-15-corporate-logos/

Helicopter Ben:
http://www.financialsense.com/fsu/editorials/dollardaze/2007/images/0626.h6.jpg

Dassault Falcon 7X:
http://blog.kir.com/archives/Legacy%20600.jpg

Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman Sachs:
http://www.davemanuel.com/images/lloyd_blankfein.jpg

Fed's Alphabet Soup:
http://www.american.com/archive/2008/march-03-08/the-fed2019s-new-alphabet-soup/FeaturedImage

John Thain, former CEO of Merrill Lynch:
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/35311/thumbs/s-THAIN-large.jpg

John Mack, CEO of Morgan Stanley:
http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200712/r213022_820988.jpg

Goats R Us:
http://lolfed.com/wp-content/uploads/lehman-goat.jpg

Rising Tide Cartoon:
http://peoplesgeography.files.wordpress.com/2006/10/rising-tide-lifts-all-boats-cartoon.gif

Ken Lewis and John Thain:
http://www.nancarrow-webdesk.com/warehouse/storage2/2008-w37/img.344564_t.jpg

Leverage:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2161/2023450815_0364713413.jpg

All Your Banks:
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVu3CyxoeoE7R7n6jVN7kiYInt39y0CANPuxM7D8YBQqlh33MlN5nR9kM9my06m6rQgnj4K55KDq8UMwNfo7yslYAbOMWRTAIt5CtHiaSd8WCl_CKeDPY9Lk9K-VonWTj5VDtgaXL3pJ0/s400/political-pictures-henry-paulson-banks-belong-us.jpg