Do not go gentle into that good night

I just came back from a birthday dinner for my dad. It was a pleasant experience. It was also a bit surreal.

My dad is old, much older than his 61 years. He lived hard when he was independent, and two decades of supervised living has slowly eroded his autonomy and independence.

About a week ago, my aunt and I had a conversation with him about his kidney health - he has stage 4 renal disease, and will soon need dialysis. I had broken the news to him a couple days before, and was surprised how much it had affected him and his girlfriend.

Revanchism

Still not a fan of soccer or imperialism. But I do love opportunistic bandwagoning and latent nationalist identity.

Killing the wunderkind

It’s occurred to me that the farther I am from grad school, the more I’ve been relying on academic achievements to shore up my shoddy self-esteem. It’s been sickening is how much I’ve clung to this anachronistic self-ideation. It’s as if I haven’t developed my non-intellectual identity at all. I still hang onto that damn NSF as if it’s some sort of validation of whatever preconceived notions and expectations, even though, at some level, I feel like a failure at best, and possibly even a fraud.

Never try to pick up a woman at a differently-abled Barnes and Noble.

Just got back from my differently-abled Barnes and Noble (no bathroom, no cafe, no tables). Got a passive-aggressive hint over loudspeaker that I'm not allowed to sit on the floor, and should take my practice CBEST test in the most uncomfortable wooden chairs.

But things could be worse. I saw what may have been a pretty attractive woman in a black dress eviscerate this poor guy trying to make small talk. Not exactly sure what she said in reply, but it was clear from his sigh and rapid exit that it was bad. He wasn't bad looking, or poorly dressed. But it's clear that she sensed weakness, and wouldn't tolerate it. Social Darwinism FTW!