I deserve an orgy today! (And so do you!)

*Updated 8/23/2012, 12:36 PM
**Updated 8/23/2012, 12:47 PM

At first glance, it appears to be an Civony/Evony ad. (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, read the wiki section on its advertising campaign.)

I was going to post it in the folder “the Internets make me laugh”. But, for purely scholastic reasons, I decided to investigate further. Evidently Wartune is made by R2games, a company based out of Hong Kong specializing in online micropayment games.

This immediately piqued my interest – why, precisely, would a Chinese firm choose the path of appealing to our prurient public performance proclivities?

Perhaps this was a subtle form of Communist propaganda. After all, in the truest form of Communism, individualism is seen as antiquated and selfish; rather, the individual belongs to each other. (Note that I am referencing Marx’s form of Communism, in which the terminus of historical evolution results in the withering of the state, and not its more historical totalitarian manifestations.) In such a utopia, the individual’s body doesn't truly belong to the self, but to everyone.

 If so, this insidious form of brainwashing is an outrage, and has no place on sites accessible in America, and warrants the formation of a national firewall. How else can we safeguard our liberty and proud tradition of sexual repression than by employing a national internet censor?

 But just as I was about to call my congresswoman, another thought occurred to me. On the contrary, it might in fact a subtle critique of the Communist party. Historically, and across cultural bounds, totalitarian Communism has been characterized by strong restrictions on individual conduct, going as far as to enforce a moral code. What better way to protest than with public displays of affection – already censured near areas like the Forbidden Palace? *insert picture here of two women making out at said location behind the back of a guard*

Would Tank Man have been more effective if, instead of shopping bags, he had been holding the ample bosoms of fellow protesters? The tank driver might have joined them, and history as we know it would be different.

Yet perhaps I am being too pedestrian, and not giving enough credence to a more universal message. Could it be that the game company is trying to encourage the individual to achieve self-actualization?

Shouldn't we seek to unshackle ourselves from societal norms that reinforce negative self-image, borne in a desire to control population and social mobility, a desire made impotent by the availability of inexpensive prophylactics and topical creams?

 How much misery have we visited on ourselves, and upon other people, by denying the universal and natural desire to have sex with hundreds of people in a public place?

This, THIS explanation was the most satisfying. And it was then that I resolved to be part of the vanguard of this revolution. I have shed my clothes, and my cloak of shame, and am prepared to frolic in the streets, bringing to others, and myself, the emancipation of self.

And I owe it all to an advertisement.

I deserve an orgy TODAY. And so do you, dear reader. So do you. So let's go forth and orgiate.

As Mr. Rogers once said, “It's time for make-believe with Mr. McFeely.”

*Evidently I'm a bit too forward thinking for the LA County Sheriff's Deputies. Would someone please bring a $10,000 bail bond to the local jailhouse?

**Yes, I used my one phone call to update my blog. Besides, I found something that might invalidate my previous analysis. This was also on the R2games site.

Maybe a subsequent analysis will explore the orgy connection with resurgent right-wing extremism in Northern Europe. Perhaps I'll ask the nice Nordic gentleman that shares a cell with me.