Today is a good day to love

Today, our expectations are probably raised, perhaps prematurely, perhaps unrealistically, for the SCOTUS to resolve one of the great issues of our time in the manner in which we'd prefer. 

But our expectations should be raised, and raised now, for ourselves. We should love more completely, behave more responsibly, and be better at supporting and caring for both our friends and distant strangers -- unknown to us, except as human beings, which should be enough for us to do what is good and right.

I wanted to write some soaring polemic. But increasingly, I can't. And that might be a good thing. You've helped me as a human being grow beyond the love of abstract justice and care more about individual people, and how the laws of this country affect you. Your goodness to me has helped me grow from a homophobe to someone who cares more about this social justice issue than any other. 

Like any new convert, I've had to learn wisdom-- I can't bully or argue equality to my conservative religious family members anymore. I can advocate, gently. But I have to listen as well. It is difficult, even painful at times, but it is probably far less painful than perhaps some of the conversations some of you have had with loved ones. 

Here, love triumphs as well. Contrary to my fears, I haven't had to pick between them and you. And I think, if I were gay, they would still love me. It's perhaps small comfort to those of you dealing with Prop 8, but it's no exaggeration that I believed same-sex marriage and equal rights had the potential to split me from them.

So I have no expectations for the hearings today or tomorrow, or even the ruling in a few months. What I will expect of myself is to be somewhat more generous, somewhat more kind, somewhat more thoughtful to my LGBT kin. Some of you I consider family. It is time for me to behave like family, and let you know, more regularly, and more clearly, how much you are loved -- not as a cause, but as a person.