Friday, November 2, 2012

How I engaged in voter coercion

I was nine years old when I first "voted". It was 1992, and H. Ross Perot was shaking up the political establishment with his funny ears and his aggressive, detailed critiques in his infomercial ads. I liked him, and I encouraged Mom to vote for him. I went in with her to the booth, and made sure she voted Perot.

When I was 13, I enjoyed watching Norm MacDonald play Bob Dole on Saturday Night Live. In particular, there's a skit about Bob Dole living in the "Real World" house. Sadly, the clip appears to be lost and not on the Internets, but here's a transcript.

Bob Dole: Who the hell ate my peanut butter?! Peanut butter!

Chris: I guess I did. Why?

Bob Dole: Yeah, well, now it's gone! Next time, ask! Nobody eats Bob Dole's peanut butter without asking!

ChrisWhatever..

[ cut to Annabel summarizing the scene ]

Annabel: Bob needed to work on his "people skills"..

[ cut back to the scene ]

Bob Dole: You wanna chip in, that's a different story. Otherwise, keep your grubby hands out of Bob Dole's peanut butter! [ throws the empty jar across the floor ]

[ cut to Annabel summarizing the scene ]

Annabel: So I called a house meeting..

Needless to say, I pushed my mom to vote for Bob Dole in 1996.

So, there are two cases in which I coerced a Democratic, minority woman's vote and caused her to vote against her economic interest. I'm sorry.

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