I have a glass slipper on my desk.
I bought it to remind me of the need to be romantic, to keep in mind that there is someone who will fit perfectly.
Metaphorically of course - my dear officemates pointed out that anyone who actually could wear the slipper would probably be under the age of six.
(Thanks guys.)
In my youth, I wrote possibly hundreds of really, really bad poems. Some were about war, some where satire, but the vast majority were about love in one form or another.
I'm not sure when, but at some point I decided it was either stupid or a waste of time. Since I've been in Ithaca, I've written about three poems, lost somewhere on my hard drive, and possibly only one about love. I've written tens of essays on Cornell talks and political events, yet somehow sentiment hasn't really crept in as much as it used to.
The question is whether this reflects maturity or regression - maturity in the sense that an adult male has more important things to do than to write about how the evening shadows are the perfect mascara for a muse; regression in the sense that I wonder whether I'm becoming dumber and less creative the longer I am alive.
There's no doubt that people love each other. Hell, even I love people. But the question is whether that takes the form of a impressionistic sunrise or a Sargent painting - stark and efficient in its commentary.
One could also argue that being romantic, like any other skill, is blunted by disuse, assuming it is even learned properly to begin with. It is possible that I learned once, long ago, how to use one neuron could charm another, yet failed to translate this into the real world.
Perhaps there is a limit to how romantic one can be if we understand and take seriously the framework of evolution and that humans are not exempt from its implications.
As Ecclesiastes tells us, "For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."
The point is, I am wondering whether it is something specific to me, my age group, or society as a whole. So, dear reader, I ask you to think about your opinions and experiences about romance. I've deliberately left "romance" itself undefined. I'm hoping to get responses from people who are in a relationship as well as those currently single. Send me a note, or better yet, post a comment!
2 comments:
Well, I'm wondering if your viewpoint has changed since you wrote this blog. Anyway, since Amy is watching what I'm typing I won't attempt to answer the question of romance, since I will most undoubtedly get it wrong.... for another time.
I think my thoughts have remained pretty close to where they were at the time of this posting. I'm possibly less pessimistic, or more directly optimistic, though nothing has really changed in my life circumstances that would justify such a shift.
I think there is a critical place in romance for symbols (i.e. glass slippers). Additionally, the longer I live and observe happy couples, the more I've come to accept that the combination of novelty with familiar comfort appears to be at the heart of the great romances of history. But that knowledge is useless, if it does not translate into an effort on my part to cultivate these things in my relationships.
I'd be curious to hear how your thoughts on romance have changed, or not, before and after marriage.
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